So many times in our lives when we come up against something really tough, something that draws us to our knees or causes us to crumble to the ground, we do our best to work through it, to manage it or to shufﬂe around it the best that we can.
And sometimes we ﬁnd that we didn’t heal all the way through. That there is a remnant of sadness, that gets left behind. You may move forward, you may feel “better” but then one day, in a breath, you ﬁnd that the little piece of sadness has been with you all along.
In that moment it catches you off guard and takes your breath away. You may swirl back in time, to when the sadness occurred, or you may wonder what it is that remains, that needs your love and attention. You may feel a strong desire to run, to dig it another grave or to pretend that it never existed at all.
But the best thing you can do… is to sit with it. To make a cup of tea, give it some time and a voice. Let it say all that is has to say. There may be late night conversations or afternoon chats. There may be tears over dinner or sobbing in the bathtub. Once you can befriend the sadness, and only then, can you really heal it.
Let it be a tool, let it teach you more about yourself. Let it tell you about the tears and the struggles. Be tender and kind and gentle with you both. Write out what it is that the sadness says to you, write until you can’t. Sing it out, at the top of your lungs or in a small soft voice. Use the sadness so you can get to know YOU even better.
We are taught to “put on a happy face,” “to pull ourselves up by our bootstraps,” or to simply “move on.” But I think there’s more power in sitting with the sadness. Allowing ourselves to feel the pain, to learn all that we can from it and then to begin to sit with others in their sadness too.
It doesn’t mean getting stuck there. It’s sitting with the sadness, not in it. It’s not letting the sadness control everything or consume us. It simply means to meet the sadness where it is, to let it say all that it needs to say. So that then, and ﬁnally then, you can release it and fully move onto the other amazing things that lie ahead. Think of it as making a space for more. More love, more peace, and more life.