Guest post by Bella Cirovic for Oh, these Wild Women: Stories from the tribe
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I know when it’s happening. It’s like when the light of the late afternoon fades to early evening. The darkness comes in slowly. With no warning signs to discern the onset of my blues, I sit still and allow the feeling to settle in.
Since becoming a mother eleven years ago, I’ve experienced small bouts of disconnect from my wild spirit, from my happy, from ordinary joys. It’s not strong enough of a feeling to be called depression; it’s more of a quiet sadness. Because I’m highly sensitive and very affected by my surroundings, I’ve come to accept these seasons of calm and let them be. I ride it out.
I don’t want to put a lot of focus on the blue periods because we all go through them at one point or another. Today I want to share the tools and tricks I’ve learned that serve as a guide to feeling my way out of the rabbit hole and back in touch with my inner wild child. She is in there, and she wants out!
Get yourself dressed and ready to face the day: I’m not saying I go all out but I do my best to change out of my loungewear and into an outfit, shoes, hair style, make up, and tote bag that makes my heart smile. Feeling good when I’m wearing something I love encourages me to be out in the world where the people are, to show myself off a little, and to feel like I’m part of something again. What helps: Create a list of places in town you’d like to visit with an itinerary of things to do for the day. Make that day happen!
Music: Stress, anxiety, or sadness wreaks havoc on your hormones. Think about a time when you heard some good news that made you so happy you jumped or did a happy dance. That surge of happiness ran through you and the energy it gave off had to go somewhere. Well what about sad energy? People tend to sit or lay down in their blue periods and all of that energy is just sitting with you. Music has become a healer for me. Dancing and sweating to the beat of a good tune gets things moving and is an awesome release for all of those pent up emotions. Try making playlists on YouTube or your iPod for work or for your chore days – and maybe add one called ‘getting happy’ for days when you are just not feeling it.
Good Riddance: Do a room sweep for any and everything in your home that no longer serves you. Carry a garbage bag and toss the items in one by one. The stuff you collect can be donated to the good will or given away (serving others) and you will have room for new things to bring you joy. This is important because the things you surround yourself with contribute to how you’re feeling. So do the people in your life and the places where you spend your time. Energy is passed back and forth so spend some time cultivating deeper relationships with the people, places, and things you have that are solid and get rid of the ones that bring you down. Try it for 15 minutes a day. You’ll be amazed.
Make friends with a big dreamer: I’m not a think outside the box kinda chick. I rely heavily on outside sources of inspiration like books, magazines, colors, art, movies, songs, poetry, etc. When I’m down and ready to break out, I get on the Internet and search out the big dreamers for help. Here are some places to start: superherojournal.com, planetsark.com, and leoniedawson.com.
Reach out: I’m lucky to have a handful of girlfriends to call when I really need them. My problem is that I tend to isolate and stay quiet (which by the way, doesn’t work!). Pick up the phone and arrange a play-date with your friends. Go out for lunch and let it all spill out. What surprised me most when I decided to share that I was just emerging from a heavy time was the overwhelming response I got: you could have called me. Yes, they all said it – and I know that they meant it. I’ve been on the opposite end and have said the same words to friends in need. You’re friends want to be there for you. They want to know your good, bad, gorgeous, and ugly bits. You are worthy of their love, their kindness, and their time. Reconnect with your people. Send that text or make that phone call today.
Meditate: Meditation is different for everyone. I don’t sit with my legs crossed, palms up, eyes closed, and chant. My preference is a guided meditation cd or soft spa music. Ultimately what meditation brings to my life is inner calm, confidence in my decisions, and a more intuitive look at my actions and reactions. Think about what meditation can look like for you. Where would you go for some uninterrupted quiet time? If you can, carve out ten minutes for yourself in the morning and ten minutes before bedtime. It’s another really great energy release.
Hopefully these tools will help get the pep back in your step, and your inner wild child will be back with abandon. There are always lows to balance the highs, and sometimes we need to entice our spirits back to the light. I would love to hear some of your ‘coming back’ practices in the comment section.
Bella Cirovic is a photographer and visual storyteller who lives in the suburbs just outside of NYC.
She shares her stories and photos at her blog, She Told Stories, and is the hostess of the 52 Photos Project.
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I LOVE this! The one that always works for me is clearing/decluttering – and to take it one step further, just regular old housework gets me out of the blues. I am definitely not a neat freak, but something about seeing my dishes all done and my closets in order makes everything feel more manageable. Thank you so much from me and my inner wild child!