Hi, my name is Sunni, (pronounced “sunny”) – and I am person. Just like you. I am a person who once hurt, a lot. I hurt until the pain got just bad enough for me to wake up. And when I woke up — whoa nelly — love swept in and blew the lid off my life.
I was touched by a sweetness and strength that I cannot describe to you with words, but oh how I love trying anyway. 
That sweetness rushed in, and emptied me out, so I could be full again, and whole again. It left me with a joy and reverence for life that is so big, and vast, that it cannot be touched with fingers — words or thoughts.
This sweetness didn’t take me away from life, it didn’t blast me off into some astral dimension, it didn’t float me out into the cosmos — away from the pain of the world, it rooted me in my humanity, it gifted me a bottomless compassion, and it made my heart a wide open space.
I write to share that space with you. I make art to share that space with you. I listen to share that space with you.
Everything I do, I do to share that space with you. Because that space is you, and that space is me, and in that sharing we remember the truth of who we are. We are the pieces, you and me — the pieces of the whole. When we come together — magic happens.
Every nuance of your being compliments this world perfectly. Your path is a plan, not a mistake. And like a trail of breadcrumbs from the Universe, every piece on your path calls you closer to home. Home to that space at the center of you. I created The Daily Breadcrumb to help you pick up those pieces, I created it to help ME pick up those pieces, so we can bring those pieces together, and set the whole world free. One little “person” and “piece” at a time.
I am beyond thrilled to be sharing this space here with you on Roots of She, and am beyond grateful to Jenn for gifting me that opportunity! So… shall we pick up some crumbs then lovelies? yes, yes… I think we shall.
Change: New views on an old belief
I was thinking about a funny old-adage we pass around in this culture, regarding change, and letting go, and our apparently built-in aversion to it. But I see something else, and if you’re game, I’d love it if you come on a little journey with me, a walk-through of sorts — you in? Oh good, let’s take a look:
“We are creatures of habit… creatures of comfort”, people say. “We fear change, we rail against it”, they say.
“We want the things we love to stay the same forever. It’s human nature.”
This is the very popular and widely accepted belief that we carry.
But do you want that?
Do you really?
And are you a creature of habit and comfort?
Are you really?
There’s plenty of conventional wisdom out there on this topic, and it’s all very helpful, each in it’s own wonderful, unique way — but let’s look at this from another angle, shall we? Let’s turn the mind upside down for a moment and question this fundamental “reality” we are believing about ourselves.
We are like Snow Globes with our little white bits all settled into the ground,
we don’t even know a whole other view is possible.
So you’re a creature of habit are you? A creature of comfort?
Then why do I find you creating drama for yourself in the secret confines of your mind? Why do I find you breaking-wild every chance you get (or will allow yourself)? Why do I find you secretly daydreaming of doing something, or BEING something, radically different? Why do I catch you sometimes mixing things up -— just a little even, just to see what will happen?
I mean c’mon now… I thought you were a creature of habit?
Now when I say “you”, love, of course I mean me.
Of course I mean — the mind. OUR mind, this human mind we all share in.
In case you haven’t noticed, it’s terribly confused sometimes.
And I want to help us get un-confused.
So let’s keep looking at this, shall we?
If you’re getting kind of dizzy, or nervous, you can hold my hand… I don’t mind. In fact, I’d love nothing more. Turning beliefs on their head can get a little scary sometimes, but trust me — it’s so worth it. So let’s keep going, I’ve got you.
So you fear change, huh? You “rail against it”?
Then why do I find you making brave and life-altering decisions when you know the time is right? Why do I find you actively seeking-out change in certain areas of your life, as if it were a live-giving elixir? If you are so against change, what is up with the hair and outfit changes, my love?? And please, don’t even get me started on the changing of your moods.
Look at that, you’re a little less afraid now, aren’t you? Are you starting to see a few flakes in the air?
Yep, the snow globes going-over, we’re shakin’ things up baby… doesn’t it feel good? Just to look at something from another angle?
What? What’s that you say? It’s a CHANGE?
Yes, yes, my love… yes it is.
Let’s keep going, this is getting kind of exciting – you still in?
Good, me too. Hold on tight, this next one might get bumpy…
So you want the things you love to stay with you and stay the same forever, do you? And the people you love too?
I think you and me both know, that this isn’t really true either — for deep down we all know the rules of this game of life. It’s no surprise that we, like everything else in this life, come to pass – not to stay. We are perfectly impermanent, you and me. None of us has a clue when our time will be up. Nor do we know when anyone else’s time will be up. Do you think this is a mistake? Do you think that it was not intended to be this way to ensure the absolutely breathtaking thrill and WONDER of this life? Do you think that it was not designed just-so, so that we could throw the doors of our hearts wide-open and swallow this precious life whole?? Do you think we could love one ounce as much or as heart-wrenchingly sweetly as we can because of the fact that we know it’s not forever?
Deep down, we have a love that lives forever.
Deep down, we ARE a love that lives forever.
We have that already… we have come to experience something else here.
We have come to experience that love in a WHOLE NEW WAY.
You don’t want things to stay the same forever, my sweet. As cruel as it sounds, you don’t even really want the people you love to stay forever either. Because how on earth could it ever be as sweet to love them, right HERE, right NOW, in all of their precious, beautiful and stunning impermanence? And without seeing theirs, how could we possibly learn to see and appreciate our own?
This is what you wanted.
It’s as if from your place in the stars you looked down on this little world and said,
“I just want to love them, I just want to love them and this whole world all up! Show me how to do that, how can I do that so it’s bigger than big?!” and the universe answered, “It won’t last. In fact it will sometimes be fleeting, my sweet, and you’ll never know how long you have. That is how you can be sure. That is how you can be sure you’ll love them bigger than big.”
Oh, you got kinda shaky there for a minute, didn’t you? Your palm really started to sweat!
I know, I got scared too.
But look, look my love…
it’s snowing.
So glad I read this post! I have been searching a long time but recently, intensely.
I am astranged from my daughter with no blaming involved at this point, but we both have put each other through so much emotional pain, it drove her to assault me. I practice yoga, meditation, kirtans and see a healer bi-monthly. I struggle that she is not part of our lives but the pain needed to end for us both. Any suggestions? My mind teeters daily, strong then weak. Beth
Hello Beth! Thank you for being here. I’m sorry your heart is being pulled in two directions here, and I am sending my hugest compassion for the difficult choices you’ve had to make. Since you asked for my advice/suggestions, I will point out that the source of your “teetering” is not actually due to the condition of your separation from your daughter, but rather it is due to the THOUGHT/BELIEF that arises in your head/mind and probably says something terrifying to you like – “you should not have cut your daughter out of your life” or “what kind of mother are you to cut your daughter out of your life” at which point a corresponding EMOTION is triggered (sadness, fear, guilt, confusion, inner-conflict, shame) and then your BODY has a response to that thought/emotion because it interprets fear as a threat to it’s physical safety and so you have a physical reaction. (quickening of pulse, constriction, tenseness, etc.) So my advice would be to question the THOUGHT/BELIEF that is causing you this pain and conflict. I would be happy to explain this a little further if you like? Please email me directly if you’d like to hear more about that process. When we do this, we begin to see infinite other possibilities as opposed to what we were believing (that hurts so much), and it would simply NOT BE ENOUGH for me to tell you why it’s not true, and that everything is just as it should be in this moment, and for me to “positive talk” you out of this, because your own fears will come back until you realize it for yourself. And I want that for you. I want you to have your own freedom and peace back to your heart. So I invite you to go to my blog and write me from the contact page and I’ll be happy to tell you more about that. Thank you love for being brave enough to share your truth and struggles! It sets us all free, when you do.
Thank you, I will message you.
The owl is one of my spirit guides. Just thought I’d share that.
Love that you are here, I knew you would be before I knew you were. xo
Oh wow . . . what a stunning visual to have, all those glittering flakes raining down on me. As an introvert/sensitive/social-anxiety person, change REALLY shakes me up . . . but I will hang on to this, remind myself that shaking things up is the only way to see the snow. Thank you. Can’t wait to read more of you!