Presence, permission and pleasure: Meet Rachel Cole and rest inside this moment

For this first post, I’ve chosen to show you my “come from” — the place from which the handful of posts I get to share with you will arise. Follow me for a moment if you will…

At the core, I believe that each of us is a unique and purposeful wave in an ocean of The Divine or God or The One. Each of us made up of the same holy energy, yet expressed differently — like spiritual fingerprints.

My wave, the one that all my work and words come from, is an invitation –– an invitation to sense and feed your truest hungers.

And to do this, I invite you to be self-centered. Yes. Self-centered.

I’m inviting you to reclaim being self-centered as though it were the highest compliment — because it is. The state of self-as-centered can be a powerful north star to walk towards.

This invitation is first and foremost about presence.

I’m inviting you to your Self, to your soul, to listening, and to spaciousness.

I’m inviting us to notice, to pause, to be curious, to breathe this breath. At its core, my work is an invitation for me and for you to be here in this moment.

This invitation is next about permission.

I’m inviting you to claim that you are always in choice, and to allow your hungers to lead you. I’m inviting you to trust, and to put down the heavy boulders of self-loathing and not-enoughness.

I’m inviting you to admit that you’re hungry for it — for all of it.
I’m inviting you to cash in your permission slips.

And this invitation for being self-centered is lastly about pleasure. I’m inviting you to rest in a soft place, to pursue delight, to come to the table, and feast and savor and feel. I’m inviting you to treat pleasure itself as a food group.

In my work and my words, pleasure builds on permission. Permission builds on presence. Like bricks make a house, pleasure, permission, and presence have built the home where I have found self-centering and where it has lead me to being truly well-fed.

This invitation is my ‘come from’ and I’m honored to share what arises from it with each of you at the Roots of She table.

Finding Your Fertile Garden

A sunflower turns toward the day’s rays; what do you turn toward?
A cactus thrives in arid climates; where would you plant yourself?
What are the elements of your most fertile garden?

My own life has taught me that following the threads of what feels just right sets us up to access flow and magic. When we’re actively cultivating our most fertile garden, we’re primed to blossom.

When I think of my own fertile garden, here are a few things that come to mind:

Those few hours of the early morning when I’m my most radiant and quick-minded. (There’s a reason they say “the idea just dawned on me”)

That rice bowl that always makes me feel supercharged. (Yeah, this one.)

That daily practice that I’ve personalized so it works just right for me. (I call it “The Hour of Engagement”)

That workload that is not too hot or too cold. (Like Goldilocks’ porridge)

Those one or two girlfriends who instantly and always return to me to myself and on good days bring on gigglefits. (You know who you are).

That patch of earth that feels more like home than anywhere else. (They call it the sunny side of the Bay.)

That shade of yellow everyone says is my color and that makes magic happen. (I call it mustard-saffron-marigold)

That ratio of peanut butter to jelly that makes a sandwich just right. (2/3 raspberry jam, 1/3 crunchy peanut butter, please)

That blog that never fails to remind me that I’m not alone. (Is she writing to me?)

That signature endorphin rush I get on a pilgrimage to the flea market. (Grown up treasure hunting at its finest.)

That sweet spot of just enough time alone and just enough time with others. (Energy bank account balanced. Check.)

That unexplainable phenomenon whereby I sleep more soundly on white cotton sheets. (Go figure?)

That cafe where the creativity fairy meets me faithfully over tea and toast. (Dear Fairy, I’m so looking forward to our next meeting. xo, Rachel).

As women we’re often raised to consider what makes other’s comfortable and happy before we consider our own needs or preferences. It’s not uncommon for me to coach women who haven’t asked themselves what they want in 10 or 20 years or women who push their desires away with oppressive thoughts of what’s practical and what’s proper.

I’m not advocating that we insist life be perfect or ‘your way’ or ‘my way’ all the time. I can, in fact, enjoy a PB&J with a 50/50 ratio.

Instead, if we look deeper, this is about listening to what makes our heart beat easy. This is about what makes us feel at home in our own skin. This is about looking for what brings light to our eyes. This is about honoring our attractions because they are sacred callings. This is about using this knowing to craft a life that supports our thriving.

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I invite you to take this metaphor and inquire (in thought, with friends, or in writing) into the elements of your most fertile garden. What is your ‘happy place’? If you were the sunflower, what’s your sun (or what do you turn towards)? What need of yours have you learned the hard way not to ignore or deny? What conditions make you come alive? What conditions make you feel like your soul is dying? What area of your life is the most fertile (home, relationships, career, etc)? What area of your life needs some tending or weeding? What tiny act or object can you add to your days that would be like watering a plant?