So, if you’ve been following my latest rants here on ROS, you know that I’m a big fan of straight-shooting and ass-kicking. I thought I would switch it up a bit this week and give you some good ole fashioned encouragement. Sometimes I do like to trade in my army fatigues for some unicorn-covered jammies…
I truly believe that one of the toughest battles we face as humans is with our own mind. Truly choosing to speak kindly to ourselves. And not just positively, but in a way that truly empowers us. One thing I have noticed in my work is that for some, the perfect positive self-talk can be hard to come up with or generate.
So, until you get this bitch on lock down, I thought I would provide some easy-to-reference, go-to mantras for self empowerment. There is a bit of work on your behalf though. Read on.
The Assignment
Step 1) So, here’s your assignment. First, notice the shit you’ve been talking to yourself. When do you get triggered? What is that voice saying? Write it out if you have to. Or at least say it out loud to see how badly you’ve been bullying yourself.
Step 2) After you have deciphered the exact language you have been using against yourself, you can then begin to consciously switch the message. What I want you to do, is pick a handful of the following mantras and start fueling your mind with this dialogue. Look for what resonates. What feels better than what you currently say to yourself? Also, feel free to tweak them in any way to feel more applicable to you. Make up your own. Whatever. Anything is better than being a shit-talker to yourself.
Step 3) Get inundated. Whatever your new message is, I want you to smother yourself with it. This is a reconditioning. Put your favorite mantras on your screensavers… both phone and computer. On your mirrors. On your planners. On you desk at work. In your car. Actively PROGRAM YOUR NEW MESSAGE.
Step 4) Enjoy being kind to yourself. Feels a hell-of-a lot better, huh?
Step 5) Share with me your faves or the new mantras you’ve come up with for yourself!
The Mantras
- I love the woman/man I’m becoming.
- I am learning the art of self love.
- I am a survivor.
- I am the only thing in my own way.
- I am proud of the woman/man I am.
- I believe I can be kinder to myself.
- I have the power to change my world.
- I choose to let others opinions of me be their responsibility.
- I will conduct myself in such a way in which I can be proud.
- I have much to celebrate.
- I am actively becoming a better me.
- I am redefining what it means to trust.
- I am redefining what is important to me.
- I choose to stop apologizing for being me.
- I am committed to celebrating the person that I am.
- I am committed to loving me.
- I choose to highly value my thoughts, opinions, and ideas.
- I choose to consciously surround myself with positive influences.
- I am capable of making healthy choices.
- I know how to adequately fuel my body.
- I will accomplish whatever I choose to accomplish.
- I choose to believe in me.
- I commit to listening to my intuition.
- I know putting myself first is not about being selfish, it’s about self-care.
- I will be led by my dreams.
- I will be fueled by passion.
- I give myself permission to both fail and succeed.
- I have the ability to choose happiness.
- I have the ability to see the brighter side.
- I am a sexual being capable of extreme intimacy.
- I know I am braver that I can see.
- My pace is perfect.
- I am exactly where I need to be.
- Everything happens for a reason.
- I am the Divine.
- I am the only “sign” I need.
- I deserve greatness.
- I deserve sublime happiness.
- I am deserving of abundance.
- I consciously choose love above all else.
- I am capable of great kindness.
- I believe in all of my abilities.
- Today, I choose me.
- I am in control of my thoughts.
- I choose to live in freedom over fear.
- I am motivated by peace.
- I recognize that my past does not have to define me.
- I define myself by my character not my circumstance.
- I have abundant courage.
- I have the ability to persevere.
- I am a badass.
(Want more tips on radically falling in love with yourself? The bestie and I have been cookin’ up some pretty cool shit. Click HERE for more deets.)
OMG I am so in love with this post. I truly believe that you can’t have a healthy relationship with a romantic partner until you can love yourself first. Sharing this
Jenn! Thank you so much for reading, commenting, and sharing! I so very much appreciate it! I have always said that one of the reasons why my husband and I have such a great relationship is because we love who we are as INDIVIDUALS! Thank you again for swinging by!
Ooh, I love this! Just yesterday, I put up some affirmations around my house so that I can see them every single day. I’ve always suffered from low self-esteem and I’m an expert at beating myself up. I’ve been getting a lot better about it lately, but visible affirmations really help to speed up the recovery process!
Thanks for sharing those mantras. They’re fab! #38 and #51 make me smile
And #14 is so relevant to me right now.
Rebecca! Thank you so much for sharing your story!! Guess what!!? You are sooooo not alone. This is what I LOVE to let people know: you have already created a reality of being, so you can do it again. What I mean by that is you have already created the reality where you are great at beating yourself up. The great news about that is, you get to create a new reality!! And this time, you can be really intentional about what you’re creating! The minute you decide you are worthy: you are. The minute you decide that you will not longer apologize for yourself: you won’t. YOU get to decide. Not always easy, but super empowering to know that it IS WITHIN YOU! Also, if you want some targeted work around self-love, I have a super exciting project coming up this summer and it’s totally free… check it out at http://www.theselfloverevolution.com. Thank you again, for reading and comment and much love to you as you DECIDE how you are going to DO YOU! xo
My personal mantra… I am inviting others into my happiness, not making them the source of it.
Zahra! I LOVE THAT! I read yours out loud to Mr. Smith this morning! So centered on what is YOUR responsibility and what is other people’s responsibility. I like to think, whatever you think of me is non of my business! I’m responsible for showing up in a way in which I AM PROUD. Done. Thanks so much for reading and commenting!! xo
Heck yes. I totally registered for The Self Love Revolution!
These mantras are so helpful, Amy. Thanks!
Here’s my mantra: I let myself glow with my truth and flow with my intuition.
Nice, eh?
Beautiful, Otiti!! Just reading that gives me calmness! You go sister! Can’t wait to have you hang out with us for TSLR in June! xo
Amy,
I am on a roll!
Everything in my life right now is pointing to the same thing.
Quit talking shit to yourself!
I just went through a ritual last week of burning all my old journals because they were full of guilty prayers of not being enough, not being good enough. SO much negative energy.
I am done with that.
This list came along at the perfect time! Just more synchronicity in my life. Whoo hoo!
Just posted about your list on my own blog and said that there are three I am repeating to myself this week:
19. I am capable of making healthy choices
33. I am exactly where I need to be
44. I am in control of my thoughts
Thanks so much!
Cynthia!! Congrats on CHOOSING YOU! Such an awesome story to read! (Also, super honored that you referenced this post on your own blog:) You are consciously creating your NEW WAY OF BEING. Good for you! You got this! xo
I just loved it and shared it!
Nice!! Thanks, Nikky! Glad to hear from you again! Thank you so much for reading! xo
I love the list, Amy!
My home-grown favs – “I am my own Beloved.” and “I am taking a leap.” The last one is for whenever I feel afraid of doing something that I know in my gut is good for me. My journey includes learning how to be the good mother to my self and also see my self as my Beloved. And being my own Beloved means staying rooted in devotion and commitment, and maintaining the boundaries to protect that root.
I agree with Jenn that you can’t love unless you love yourself, and I think that is pretty much true. It is the same with commitment – if you can’t commit to your self it is pretty much true that one won’t be able to commit (in a healthy way) to another being, with unhealthy commitment being co-dependence, i.e. I drop my life so I can satisfy my hunger with something that resembles love. I make these statements without judgment as I have been in that place, doing the work, and feel grateful that I am no longer in that place, though it requires diligent awareness to stay out of that place, remain devoted, committed, and self-loving. It is worth the daily work! Just like one must do in the daily devotion to any other relationship!
And thank you, Cynthia, for your post – I had been thinking of burning my mountain of journals for many years. Your decision to do so is inspirational. Mine will be burned as soon as I can find a safe place to perform a ritual for that.
Laurie! Thank you so much for your thoughts! I LOVE your personal mantras too! I think that is one of the hardest areas for me too… when I’m fearful of making a change… I always take my nerves or fear as a sign from the Universe that I’m onto something. That’s what I typically repeat to myself: If I have nerves, I am onto something. Calms my ass down everytime. Thank you so much for swinging by and sharing your thoughts! Sending huge love as you burn your journals too! LOVE that idea! xo
Amy, I love the article. And I am inspired by the comments.
Yay!! Thanks, Leesa! I appreciate it! I have a part two of sorts coming in about two weeks! Enjoy speaking kindly to yourself! xo
I stumbled on this post while googling for personal mantras, it’s hard to come up with positive self-talk when you’ve been talking down to yourself for so long. I’ve been working on getting over being anxious, which I’ve learned stems from being hard on yourself! These mantras are wonderful empowerments and good go-to self-talk for anxious moments.
Thanks a lot.
Beth! You are so very welcome! So glad you liked this post! You’re right, it can be hard to get out of a negative place if that is where you have been residing for so long. The good news is that it IS totally possible to create a new internal dialogue! It just takes diligence and practice! I’ve also created some cool printouts of various mantras so you can cut them up and post them all around you! Check them out at: http://www.thejoyjunkie.com/words-to-live-by-x-15-the-printout/ and http://www.rootsofshe.com/personal-empowerment-mantras/ Thank you for swinging by and much love and luck to you!!
What I dont Like now isnt what will always be.
hey there! I just wanted to say that I actually cried when reading some of these mantras and I will tell you why in a minute. To start, I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder in January of this year. It has been such a fight to try to manage it with my life and I have been very hard on myself and others.
I have been in therapy but it never really seemed to get at the cause of all my self hate, anxiety, irritability and low moods. I am trying something new. I am giving myself a 14 week challenge to reorganize my life starting with the most basic things going up to challenging and complicated things. I have one main goal a week and each day I work on something small that helps meet the main goal. I call this “Project: Find Balance”. For part of this I will also be working with meditation and chakra balancing which I am really excited about. While gathering information about these processes and researching how to manage anxiety and anger, I found that one of the most powerful tools is a phrase that you repeat to yourself over and over. I have phrases for staying calm or relaxing to release tension when I am angry. I didn’t have any phrases to help when I get in low moods and turn negativity inward. I wanted something that I can recite to myself during meditation and when I am just in a bad mood. This list is exactly what I was looking for.
Now, the reason why I cried…I cried because when you have been through a struggle like I have or worse, or have been in such a low place in your mind or life for as long as I have, you feel like you are trapped and you can’t even see the light anymore. You forget what it means to love, care, and be happy. Just reading through this list, about a dozen times now, I started to realize that the statements are true, I just lost sight of who I am, who I really am and what it means to be happy.
I know this list will help greatly during “Project: Find Balance” and in many ways this list will save me and really get me through as I continue my struggle.
Thank you so much!
-Alise
Oh, Alise… I nearly cried when I read your comment and story! I have personally struggled with anxiety and depression over the course of my lifetime and although I never reached the severity of BD, I have such a soft place in my heart for mental and emotional struggle. Thank you so very much for sharing your story with me. I’m so blown away by your incredibly proactive spirit and determination to heal yourself. I wish you continued self-love and progress on your journey. Also, I wanted to let you know that I’ve created some cool printouts of various mantras so you can cut them up and post them all around you! Check them out at: http://www.thejoyjunkie.com/words-to-live-by-x-15-the-printout/ and http://www.rootsofshe.com/personal-empowerment-mantras/ Also, I have another side project that I’m super passionate about that may also encourage you on your journey to self love. Check us out here: http://www.theselfloverevolution.com Thank you, again, for sharing and I’ll definitely be rooting you on! You CAN do it! So much love, warrior! xo, Amy
My mantra lately has been, Be happy, everything passes. It’s true, and is really currently helping me in my struggle. I’m glad I stumbled onto your blog
Rubi! That’s so awesome! It’s amazing how much our self-talk shapes how powerful we feel! Thank you for sharing yours! Thanks for reading! Much love! xo
Amy, this is exactly what I need, I was recently dignosed with social anxiety(phobia) which goes a long way to explaining a lot about my whole life. These mantras are just what i need for a daily reminder thats its ok to be me the way i am, I want to make a little flip book so i can sit them on my desk so i can have a in my face daily reminder(I’m also going to make one for my sister for christmas), things happen for a reason and thats why i found this page today, I often say i’m where i’m ment to be, but I really need mantra 8: I choose to let others opinions of me be their responsibility. This is my main anxiety of being judged and the one I will print on a card to carry with me every day. Thank you so very very Much you have cleary helped so many people already.
Trish! Thank you sooooo very much for your kind words! I am beyond thrilled that you got so much from this post! I love your idea of making a little booklet with the mantras! Great gift idea too! Also, I wanted to let you know that I’ve created some cool printouts of various mantras so you can cut them up and post them all around you! Check them out at: http://www.thejoyjunkie.com/words-to-live-by-x-15-the-printout/ and http://www.rootsofshe.com/personal-empowerment-mantras/ You might like these if you are going to print stuff out anyway. So much love and luck to you on your journey!! xo
What a wonderful post! I’m 55 years old and wish I’d had access to this wisdom in my 20′s and 30′s but it’s still relevant regardless of age. I’d like to add something: Believe in your ability to be financially independent and make it happen. Don’t rely on somebody else to support you. This will ensure that you choose to be with a companion for the right reasons. I know too many women who enter their late 40′s and 50′s and are trapped in bad marriages/relationships and are too terrified to leave because they are financially dependent.
Hey, Cathy! Thank you sooooo much for reading and I’m so glad you enjoyed the post! I love your personal mantra about financial independence! Sooooo true! I especially love that it sets you up to really connect with a partner for the right reasons. Thank you, again, for reading and commenting and hope you have a very bright new year! xo
I was trolling for a mantra and found your website. Talk about being in the right place at the right time! I’m probably much older than most of your posters …63… I feel young in heart but it’s been difficult to keep my spirit up. My wonderful 32 year old son suffers from borderline personality disorder, and has since he was a child. We are very close , it’s an emotional struggle and I need to fight NOT to lose myself in it. Thus the montra search. Somehow I need to keep myself positively centered for both our sakes. I can’t afford to lose me . I need to be in your words… ” a bad ass”! Believe in myself, not get lost in the unhappiness and find life worth smiling about
). Bless you and your work .
Hey, Cathy! Thank you so much for swinging by and sharing your story!! (Just a sidenote… ALL my current clients are 50+… crazy, I know! LOL!) I’m so glad that you are taking a huge stand for what you want! So much love and luck to you along your journey! <3
These are affirmations, as i was taught, if you do not release the old maya, or beliefs before saying the new affirmations then it takes longer and the outcome isn’t as effective.
i’ll use the first one for example. you should not use statements such as “i am become or i want or i will (unless you are talking about will power) these statements are for future, not the NOW present. instead use “i love the woman/man i am” or “I have ….” I AM statements are your best friend and strongest affirmation.
so a release and affirmation would look like this:
“I now release all blockages to self love.”
then you say your affirmation:
“I love myself”
“I love myself when others dont”
“I love myslelf even if i make mistakes”
you will get there much faster and with less resistance, because you have released old thought patters and beliefs.
DO NOT use slag either, the divine (or supreme consciousness) does not know slag, when you use the words ‘badass’ or ‘mad’ or ‘sick’ then you are affirming that you are Bad or mad. use only wholesome loving words. direct and to the point.
other than that, great affirmations.
Hi, there, Luke… thank you for your thoughts! As I believe our own personal talk is reflective of our own unique spirituality and divinity, I choose to believe that there are many right answers. Slang or not.
Amy, that’s so much needed for me this moment. And smwhere a lil did I love myself… that Ive been guided to this page all by myself.
to the right place for right guidance. Thank u sooo very much. God bless. Im on the way to love myself a lil more n forgive myself for letting others be my source of love n happiness. Till date id been weeping n crying day n nite… tht was unbearable pain of parting from my best frnd. But maybe I shld appreciate myself tht I had been giving love and wanted nothing in return but him to be with me forever. But Thts gone…. love u
Hi, Sri! Thank you so much for reading and so hope this post helps you on your journey. Much love and luck your way, dear friend.
“I AM MY OWN BELOVED”!!!!!
I am so grateful that i stumbled on this website!!! I have been struggling with how to love myself, forgive myself amd make myself a priority. I am committed for the first time in my life to… LOVE ME!!… TO BE MY OWN BELOVED!!!
THANK YOU SOO VERY MUCH!!!
This has been a “AH-Ha” moment that has changed my life!
Awesome!! I love your new mantra! That’s beautiful! So glad you enjoyed the post!
I’m just now learning what it is to love myself again. I’m 25 and I had my heart broken on March 1st, and went into the self-hate mode that we all know and despise. It wasn’t until just recently that I realized (partly due to an insightful friend) that I should take this as an opportunity rather than an upset. I plan to work on improving myself and being the awesome person I know I am.
I love so many of your mantras and I think I’ll be posting them everywhere soon. Thanks for the great post!!
Awesome, Jessi!! Thank you so much for sharing! I think it’s important to go through those “lows” in our life because it gives us contrast to appreciate the amazing gifts when they show up. So much love and luck to you on this new chapter of your life and I’m so thrilled you enjoyed the post!! xo
Thank you!!!