Hello, sweet one.
It’s not a secret that I have an auto-immune disease. I talked about it in both of the sessions of the Self-love Warriors course, in letters to my newsletter folk, and shared something of it on the blog.
It’s not a secret, but it’s also not something I’ve felt comfortable in being really open about, the whole bit of issues of Enoughness and body acceptance and love.
It’s not a secret, but it’s also not something I’ve felt comfortable in being really honest about, the whole bit of being tough, having a stiff upper lip and sucking it up.
So I normally keep things simple and if someone asks or the topic somehow comes up I just explain Hashimoto’s by saying that it means I’m always cold and tired.
Both are true, albeit really watered down pieces of how it feels. But people can relate to those two things easily because we’ve all experienced being cold and we’ve all been tired.
If I started talking about brain fog (or, what I affectionately refer to as “thyroid brain”) or energy crashes, most people get a vague look in their eyes because they can’t relate to it, it just doesn’t make sense.
I’ve been having a really rough time with the auto-immune disease the past few months, things are currently uncontrolled and the last time I saw my endocrinologist he increased my meds. Again. I go back in a couple of weeks for more bloodwork and then the results, but this is all frustrating.
And it feels like I’ve been hiding a huge piece of my life and I’m tired of hiding and minimizing and marginalizing things.
I’m tired of pretending that everything is ok and hunky-dory.
And I need to share this because it sucks and because I choose to kick ass despite it.
So, I’m going to take a deep breath and share with you what it’s like.
And I also want to preface this by saying that every body is different. This is me, my body, my experiences, another piece of my story.
Having Hashimoto’s disease means I’m always tired. It means that I’ll go to sleep at 8:30 or 9 in the hopes that when I wake up the fatigue is gone. It means if I go to sleep later than that for too many days in a row, I will feel exhausted, lethargic and weak.
It means I’m hyper-sensitive to cold, even in the summer when the air is thick and ripe with humidity. It means I wrap myself up in blankets and will still not be warm.
It means I’m constantly dizzy. I’ve gotten used to being dizzy and auto-correct myself when I walk so that I walk a straight line instead of veering off to the side. It means that I’ll stumble or trip for no other reason than the world started spinning and shifting faster and it caught me off guard. It makes things like driving, exercising, crossing the street, walking and yoga challenging. It makes me more determined to do each of them.
It means I’ll slur my words even if I’m stone cold sober. It means I have learned to speak slowly and with care and thought and intention.
It means I have heart palpitations, my heart will stutter in my chest and beat off rhythm, or perhaps to a different rhythm, and then it will settle back down. It means I notice each beat of my heart and say thank you, thank you, thank you.
It means that there will be times when what I say doesn’t make any sense, the words I’m thinking don’t translate over to what I’m saying or writing. It means that I always re-read what I write instead of sending emails out quickly and aimlessly.
It means my energy level will bottom out unexpectedly. I’ll be fine one minute and then desperately needing to lie down the next. It means I nap when I can because I know I will feel better and more clear when I wake up.
It means that I’ll drop off the face of the earth, be silent online, be late with responding to emails, texts and calling people back. It means that I so genuinely value and appreciate the people who give me space to regroup and recharge with being passive-aggressive about it or taking it personally. It’s just me trying desperately to regain my equilibrium.
It means that I’ll cry for no reason and for any reason. It means that I’m more prone to depression and anxiety. This right here? This is how I normally clue in to the fact that something’s up – so it’s grateful I am for the tears and sadness and the rampant anxiety that is gently telling me to slow it down and go check in with my doctor.
It means that I’ve been called lazy, snobby, stuck up, a faker, full of shit, a liar, weak, and a slew of other really pretty words. It means that I’ve gotten really good at letting go of the people who toss those words at me and for keeping close the ones that support me and hold space for me.
It means that I’ve become a master at self-care and in catching myself when I push too hard, too much, too fast, too often. It means that I know when I need to realign my actions with intention and care. It means I’ve got a gorgeous laundry list of self-care items that I can turn to when I need to introduce some immediate self-care and healing into my life.
It means that I watch, listen, daydream, pray, breathe, sky-gaze, laugh, sing, enjoy and revel in every moment of this messy life because it’s mine and I will squeeze everything from each moment, whether those moments are quiet, chaotic or vibrant.
It means that I have chosen to thrive.
With a fierce heart,
It means that you’re courageous because every day you infuse the world with loving kindness and fierce soul.
It means your strong because you make it your mission to show up fully accountable and aware.
It means you’re beautiful, because you are.
Thank you, Tracey, thank you. ♥
Big hugs and love.
Love yooooou! ♥
Jenn, your heart and courage astound me, and remind me what it means to embrace vulnerability. Thank you for sharing yourself.
Thank you for being a safe space for this to land, S. ♥
Oh Jen, I’d never heard of Hashimoto’s disease before. I have an underactive thyroid, but I’m lucky that it is well controlled. But I get the feeling cold and feeling tired, the depression. Losing hair and palpitations. Like you, changes in my mood are an indicator of changes in my condition.
But I’ve never had the fogginess or the slurred speech. And I thank you for sharing with us. I always appreciate when people put themselves out there for us/me, but I have even more gratitude when the people have to fight daily to be there for us. So while I have, for many months, appreciated Roots of She, I now have even greater appreciation. Thank you Jen xxx
Karen, thank you for that, it means the world to me, your support and understanding. And woman, that’s awesome that yours is controlled, I’m super happy for you!
I’m in DC, it’s 90+ degrees outside and I’ve got the window open, the AC off, and let me tell you, this heat and humidity feels like the coziest blanket to me, I love summer because I’m finally warm. Feels goooood.
Wishing you a pretty day, xo.
Thank you for sharing your life and heart with all of us. Sending you lots of hugs and butterflies.
Hey there, Erin, thank you for being here, and for the love & support, it lifts my heart up. ♥
Your beauty and courage astounds me. You are a true gift to the world sweet Jen.
and I think we all need to be more aware of our heart beats.
thank you, thank you, thank you.
Oh, Shelby, you make me smile. Thank you. Wishing you a beautiful day, xo.
*HUGE* hugs. I have Spina Bifida (neurological disease, born with) and I can relate to SO much of what you wrote. Life is a challenge when things that most *creatures* do by default (breathing, processing quick thoughts) takes a little extra work. It’s like on some days just *living* has become our life’s work and passion, even if it’s not what we choose. Thank you for your bravery in sharing this with us, but more importantly, thank you for your courage in choosing self-care, in choosing the preach the great word of attention to self and what each of us NEEDS. It’s so important. Only if we are thriving can we truly pass that divine energy and spirit back into the world. Only a flower that’s GROWING can bloom. It’s the same for us- we all need to focus just a little bit more time on our own blooms. <3
Chel, woman, yes. Thank you for sharing this, for understanding and getting it, and for supporting me. I can’t express how much it means to me. ♥
I have been thinking of you this week—these sometimes invisible illnesses are so difficult. People only expect pain if they can see it, they do not understand the constant self motivation of an internal illness. I know with my IBS and my current health issues it is difficult to explain that I look normal on the outside, but on the inside my body is fighting a battle. You are strong and beautiful and we are cheering for you!
Aw, Beth! Thank you for keeping me in your thoughts, I’m smiling so big right now.
One of the things I’m learning is that you (we/I) need to tell people how you (we/I) are feeling, we need to say what’s going on in our hearts, with our bodies, inside of our minds. Miscommunication is easy enough when everything’s going normally, but when things are delicate, it’s so important to take with with this. <— This was Tuesday evening’s lesson, thank you for accepting me as I was.
Wishing you a pretty day, xo.
Oh dear love. How incredibly brave of you to share your story here in the company of loving women. I don’t know what it’s like, but I am listening and hearing what you’ve shared. I’m here to hold onto that for you.
You are a special lady, bringing love and light to all of those around you. xo
Bella! Thank you, thank you. Sending you so much love, sweetness. ♥
thank you for sharing your story, you are safe, you are loved and so very brave, i am so sorry you have to live like this, it must suck! i want to hug you and tell you not to be ‘shy’ to share, we really do appreciate your honesty and being real. xxx
It does suck sometimes, but most of the time all this acts as a Teacher and when I slow down to listen, I learn so much. Thank you for listening, for your support and belief in me. ♥
Jen – this is a wonderful post and I think we all see you speaking your truth and it encourages us to do the same. This has built connection – sharing your vulnerability with us connects us to you. I admire you now more than ever (although I am still somewhat new to your blog). You are courageous and you are a warrior for sure. Thank you for allowing us to witness what you are going through.
My 28-year-old son was diagnosed out of the blue in mid-Feb. with Wilson’s Disease, a rare genetic disease. It destroyed his liver and two weeks after diagnosis we were in two days of transplant medical exams/consults. Now 3.5 months later, he went through two liver transplants, a botched radiology procedure that tore his artery to the liver and I am happy to report that at 7 weeks out from transplant #2 he is doing remarkably well. My believe is that it is what you make this mean and how you go through it that counts. It doesn’t have to define you as a victim and you are showing us that it hasn’t. I have gone through this whole past few months completely transformed by seeing the love, support and beauty of a kind Universe as Byron Katie has always said. So bravo for sharing.
Sherold, thank you. Thank you for sharing all of this and for giving me a safe space to share these words. And ohhhh, what wonderful news that your son is on the mend, please know that the both of you are in my thoughts.
When I connected with my first endocrinologist, he told me quite bluntly that my thyroid did not work, that it was broken, and that I would be on medication for the rest of my life. Needless to say, it left me in tears and I’m not going to lie to you, I felt relief to finally have a diagnosis, but it also left me feeling like something was wrong with me. I was not good, I was not right, I was not whole. I was a victim, but I’m not anymore. I forgot that nothing can make me a victim except me, my mindset, my beliefs. I’m a survivor.
So are you.
So is your son.
With care. ♥
Oh my. I so feel your pain through your words. Having bouts of fybromyalgia on occasion, I can empathize with your anguish. You are one smart woman to have that self-care tool box and maybe that is something I need to work on.
What is amazing is that through your disease, you still manage to touch people’s lives and bring them joy. The greatest gift is to be able to reach deep into the depths of our own pain and then connect to others and help them heal.
You are an angel and know that several are with you.
Sending light and love your way. . .
Shari
Oh, the self-care toolbox, it helps so much! I will always recommend creating one so that when you’re in need, you have the things that will help ready and waiting.
Thank you, Shari. ♥
thank you so much for sharing your story. i have a disease that prevents me from doing what i would like sometimes and it is comforting to know we are not alone. i love your self care list. for myself i find joy in taking pictures and on those days i can’t get outside itake them from my window. sending you much love and healing as you go through the ups and downs.
xo
karen
Oh, Karen. Thank you so much for sharing this, and for taking your photos whether you can get outside or not. Sometimes it doesn’t matter if it’s done a certain way, just that it is done, that you stay true to the things that bring you joy and light.
Sending you peace. ♥
Thankyou so much for sharing this Jenn. It’s an incredibly, beautiful and vulnerable post. For those of us whose bodies, or minds, don’t necessarily work in the way we hoped they would, your example and openness shines bright. The world needs more honesty. Yours just spoke to me in so many ways right as I needed to hear it. Thankyou from the bottom of my heart. May today be a better, brighter day. You’re a brave warrior and a courageous woman and the world is better for your contribution. X
Thank you, Lulu, for reading and sharing and lifting me up. ♥
Bravo Jenn! You are so courageous!
I have had a different, but very similar sounding auto immune disease for over 30 years. You have so beautifully written this, perfectly capturing and expressing what it is like to live with an auto immune disease! (especially loved the ‘pretty words’ people use and letting go of those who toss them out there)
It is exactly this courage and your awesome attitude that will get you through each day. Being honest like this allows you to take the pressure off yourself and that in itself provides some relief…but I know how very difficult it is to do and I applaud you, your courage and your perspective of life!
Take care of you! Janet xoxo
This made me smile so big, thank you, Janet. ♥
Those around you are lucky to have you in their life! You’re beautiful and inspirational thank you for sharing such a personal part of yourself. I hope with sharing you can feel a release and breathe a little lighter. I didn’t know you had this condition. As someone who can relate well, it’s nice to hear that you’ve given yourself permission to live by your own rules and if the emails don’t get answered they don’t get answered. Life doesn’t stop, it flourishes each time you choose you over anything else. I can certainly understand how hard it is to manage every aspect of your life, and yet look how much you continue to overcome! Im so proud of you!
Lots of love, my dear one.
Hey, you. ♥
I’ve had a thyroid problem since ’03 but got the official diagnosis with the auto-immune disease a couple of years ago. It felt really good to write all of this out, but it also made me feel really shy about it all – I don’t talk about this kind of thing, I just do what I do until my body’s like WHOA NELLY, but that 1) doesn’t work and 2) isn’t good for me. It isn’t how I choose to live anymore.
Thank you for stopping over, happy weekend, T. xxoo
{{{hugs}}} Big squishy hugs. For your bravery and your strength.
♥ ♥ ♥
You are amazing and courageous and fierce and beautiful. And very, very loved. *hugs*
Hee! Love yoooou!
I appreciate your honesty – real and raw and allowing others who feel voiceless to be heard through you.
I appreciate your beauty – in writing about it through the eyes of love and finding positives you’ll shine a light into that way of seeing for others seeking the way out of darkness.
Thank you Jenn <3
Thank you, Kate. <3
Jen -
Thank you for your fierce and eloquent honesty. I’ve been sick for more than three years now with symtoms rivaling Crohn’s Disease, but have yet to be diagnosed. I know the feelings of depression, fear, anxiety and loneliness.
Thank you, for opening up. For helping others to feel less alone. For helping me to feel less alone.
Amanda
Thank you for this, Amanda. I’m having a rough time of it and your words help me to feel strong. <3
Hugging you & Loving you… & always holding space for all that you are, you’re beautiful, brave you.
So blessed to have you in my life. We all are. <3
xoxox
I love you. Thank you for always having my back and for being a steadfast light when I’m quiet. I value you, I appreciate you. ♥
Thank you for sharing this. I had thyroid-storm in 2009 and it almost cost me my life because of severe heart palputations and a non-existent white blood cell count. I was treated with radioactive-iodine and my hyper-active thyroid was transformed to hypo-thyroidism; with that came a big increase in my weight and because my daily synthroid medication was a low-dose prescribed by an uncaring male doctor who couldn’t relate to my female-symptoms, I was always tired, lethargic and cold – similar to your battle with Hashimoto’s.
I decided to take a big step and switch endocrinologists. I looked solely for female practitioners since I had multiple bad experiences with male doctors who couldn’t relate. Through my research I found a great female endocrinologist who upped my dosage of synthroid to 125mcg instead of the 100mcg that I had previously taken. Now, I have much more energy, I’m not always so cold, and I can actually stay awake at work. Best of all, my heart beats strong – not erratic like it used to.
Thank you for sharing your personal story. It is very hard to explain to others how it feels to have an auto-immune disease. But you made it easier and more relate-able to discuss. This disease no longer owns me – I have the control now.
Oh, Cait. I’m so glad that you found a doctor that met your needs and that helped you so much. I’m smiling so big for you right now. Sending you peace, xo.
Jenn, thank you so very much for writing this. It took honesty and courage … and I want to thank you for that, because it’s an inspiration to me, encouraging me to be more honest about the illnesses and difficulties that I live with, too.
You’re amazing.
xo
Jess
Thank you, Jess. <3
Wow. Beautiful post. One of my best friends was diagnosed a couple of years ago and this is giving me great insight to offer even more compassion. Thank you so much for being so brave and baring this struggle so honestly xo!
Thank you so much, Kathy. <3
I love you for sharing this, Jen.
♥
Me too. I have Hashimoto’s (and another autoimmune condition), but I’ve been able to control it pretty well with diet and meds. I highly recommend the book Why Do I Still Have Thyroid Symptoms? It gives a very detailed (sometimes overwhelming!) look at how all our body systems work together to create health or illness especially as it relates to our thyroid functioning. The author makes many helpful suggestions about how to thrive with hypothyroidism. Most notably, he makes a compelling case that *anyone* with Hashimoto’s should be gluten-free. If you haven’t read it, do consider getting it. It’s extremely helpful!
Thank you for the recommendation, Linda, I appreciate it.
((Hugs)) & <3
♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
Thank you so much, Jenn, for sharing so openly with all of us. You are an inspiration, with or without the Hashimoto’s–just for being YOU.
Hugs to you. <3
Hee! Thank you, Karla! ♥
Thanks so much for sharing this. You are so amazing! That you do all the beautiful work that you do (I mean your soul work), plus work a regular day job, all the while being challenged by your physical experience…wow! Many blessings to you for healing and energy.
Hugs,
Nikki
Thank you, Nikki. <3
I completely understand, Jen. I’ve had an auto-immune disease (MS) for about 10 years and hypothyroidism (not Hashimotos related) for 2-3. I can relate to periodic challenges with brain fog, irratic walking, numbness, speaking/writing, etc.
Odd as it sounds, I’ve come to see it as one of the best things that has happened to me. Though it can get rowdy sometimes and be a pain in the tush, it has also taught me to slow down, live in the moment and appreciate all of the beautiful things within it.
Thank you for having the strength and the courage to trust us with your story.
Your fellow warrior,
Amy
Oh yes, yes. Exactly. Rowdy, ha! Yes.
Before I was diagnosed way back when with a thyroid problem, I was going 24/7. I definitely wouldn’t have asked for this, but it’s been one of the best teachers.
Wishing you peace…. and a non-spinny world.
♥
I understand totally. I am experiencing the same thing. I working on my diet now removing gluten from my diet and looking at other food allergies. There is a good book called “Why do I still have thyroid symptoms when my blood results are normal?” written by a doctor which is very good. There is also a facebook group site available with many knowledgeable people. Blessings.
Thank you, Joy. <3
Thank you for sharing this. I am struggling with a currently undiagnosed disorder that is causing me chronic pain and chronic fatigue and I’ve been pretty quiet about it. I stopped blogging because while I’ve never had issue being vulnerable about my emotional processes, I have some control over them and use them to evolve, so I always turn my sad stories into beautiful ones. I haven’t figured out how do that with my current health experience. Everything is hard. I’ve become a hermit because I use all my spoons at my full-time job and having nothing left for the rest of life right now. And I’m noticing that while people love to listen to and hold space for emotional dramas, they are very uncomfortable with the physical ones. So I mostly keep to myself and just find witness with from my partner and one close friend. It’s good to hear the truth from another vibrant woman in the world.
Thank you, April. <3
I’ve learned that some people are just not comfortable with hearing about physical issues like this, and it doesn’t reflect on you, it’s just where they’re at. It might be hard for them to extend empathy if the topic seizes them up so much.
And maybe it’s time to keep some spoons for you, hmm? Take good care of you.
♥
Jenn, I read your posts almost every day. Although I have never left a comment you are an inspiration for me. Last fall my ex-boyfriend had a brain aneuyrsm and I wound up looking after him for 6 months. During that time your fiecre heart was the light at the end of my tunnel. It was a long winter. I got through it by hanging on to the belief that it would all turn around soon, and when it did I would be able to pratice all the things you are teaching here. He is ok now, and back on his own again, and I am seeing my life through a new set of wonderous and appreciative eyes, thank you so much for what you do. It matters.
Angela
You’ve left me in tears, thank you, thank you. ♥
Holding you in my heart. Gentle hugs to you, dear one.
Sweet woman, I got your card! Thank you so much for reaching out and thinking of me. ♥
You are amazing. Such an inspiration. I check in here every day just to feel inspired. Many, many hugs and lots of sparkly stars to you, and thank you for showing me that opening yourself up and being “vulnerable” takes more courage than just closing your eyes and going forward.
Stacie, thank you for this. ♥
Thank you for sharing your story. It takes a lot of courage to be so candid.
Hey there, Amber, thank you so much for reading and for supporting me, it means so much.
Your such an inspiration to so many people. I love your honesty and courageous spirit. I too have thyroid disease. It was a very frustrating and difficult time for me as well to accept this auto-immune diagnosis. It’s been 3 years now and the past 9 months have finally brought some balance and relief to my life. I wish I had been as loving to myself as you are in providing the self-care nourishment. But now I know that when those times show up (imbalance) to remember self-love. Thank you for opening up your life to all of us and for sharing the tools love and gratitude. Thank you for Roots of She.
Tina
Tina, this humbles me, thank you. I am so happy that the last months have brought balance and peace to you, that is such wonderful news! I’m beaming over here. xoxo
Thank you! Thank you for sharing this. Thank you for letting us know that we can have troubles and still carry on. You are incredible, and I am so glad I opened this e-mail!
♥♥♥♥
This is such a beautiful, beautiful, beautiful post, Jenn. So heartfelt and authentic. So powerful and strong. Big big hug.
Thank you, thank you. ♥
Honesty, courage and letting us/we/I share in your life. You have been a support system for so many including me, a newbie. My hope that you feel the love from us all and you feel lighter, energized and comfort from sharing. Bless you and all from this site. Your emails have turned many a bleak day into sunshine and smiles for me. Much love and healing energy.
Beth
I do, trust that. Thank you, so much, Beth. ♥
Thank you for sharing your experience with us, even though it was uncomfortable. Much love, you are an inspiration! <3
Thank you, C. ♥
(( Sending SO much love to you. ))
xoxo
~erin
Erin, thank you! Thank you. ♥
I’m calling you beautiful and brave! Thank you for sharing your story- you are inspiring to others.
Hee! This made me smile, thank you, Amanda. ♥
((((((((((hugs))))))))))))
I relate so much. Having an invisible illness is doubly hard, because no one can see what’s going on inside. They can’t feel my lungs, struggling to breathe (my chronic illness is asthma). And the struggle is constant and overwhelming, in the midst of an attack.
You are a self-love warrior!
Thank you, A, for understanding and supporting me. It means so much. I hope you are having a peaceful day, love. ♥
Hi Jenn,
I’ve been reading your website for many months and I am so incredibly in love with the work that you do. It’s been uplifting, inspiring, raw & gritty, vulnerable, heart-fluttering, vibrant, and oh-so soulful. I want to say ‘thanks’ for that first.
What you’ve written here has made my heart jump into my chest. It’s so powerfully vulnerable and deeply truthful. I felt so connected to your words. Even though I don’t know what it’s like to have your particular experiences, I have also struggled with an ‘undetermined’ chronic pain issue. Every journey is different, but reading your words brought me to tears as I spilled out my own pain and frustration. Sharing your story is so vital. It’s such a beautiful gesture of self-care. It really connects people. I so very much appreciate this today <3
Sending you love & support,
-Sharon
Sharon, thank you so much for sharing this, and for all of your sweet words. This was so hard for me to write, thank you for being a safe space. ♥
First off, Hugs! You are so brave and wonderful for sharing your story.
Second, you are an inspiration. I have arthritis (hands and knees), carpal tunnel, chronic fatigue, and occasional unexplained bouts of vertigo. Some days, it seems like an insurmountable task to get out of bed and get dressed let alone get my kids taken care of and go to work. Luckily I can control a lot of my flare ups with diet, yoga, and a little self love.
Knowing that I am not alone (it is heartwarming to see all the amazing women that replied to this post) is a gift and a motivator to keep moving forward and not let my issues take over my life.
xoxo
Shel
Thank you, Shel, for sharing this, I hope that you are having a peaceful day. ♥
Thank you for your beautiful honesty. I like hearing about the gifts of self care and self awareness.
I don’t want to be another annoying person with suggestions on what to do for the Hashimotos, but forgive me, I’m just going to give a quick one: I have a friend with Hashimotos, who is also a doctor and has done a lot of research. After doing some of the western meds to start, she controls her Hashimotos through being gluten-free. She feels like this is the most important baseline act for this thyroid disorder.
(ps: I’m here from Erin Goodman’s site).
Take care
Hey Rachel! You are not being annoying, I appreciate that you’d take the time to offer suggestions and other avenues to explore. I’ve heard a lot of people share how going GF helped them with managing not only Hashimoto’s but a few other AID. I was GF for most of last year and it made a huge difference. Ok, I have to be honest, I started back with the gluten-free bit last week and totally fell of the wagon last night.
I ate pizza. I wish I could tell you that it was good, but it was just kind of meh. So, I don’t know if it was really just crappy pizza or if my body was just not excited about it. My brain is like OMGZ PIZZA pretty much all the time, but it was just kind of bland last night.
Yeah, I’m writing you a novella about my love of the pizza pie.
And I love Erin, she is such a sweet soul. Welcome to RoS.
Wishing you a beautiful day. ♥
Jenn,
You are a beautiful and courageous soul.
Thank you for being you and creating this breathtaking place of inspiration, honesty, and love. It has been a constant source of light in my life.
I’m sending love your way.
Thank you, Jenna. Thank you. ♥
Oh Jenn … You are so brave and beautiful for sharing your struggle with Hashimoto’s. I’ve always respected and admired you so much for your beautiful work but even more so now. Sending you so much love and grace.
xoxo
Jenny, this makes me smile. Thank you, love. ♥
Thanks for sharing your journey with us. Sharing your whole truth with us is brave and inspiring.
We don’t need to be perfect to be an inspiration and share our gifts with the world. It’s in the ‘spaces between’ that we discover our real strength.
Oh yes, exactly, you are so right. And thank you for reading, I appreciate you being here. ♥
Thank you Jen for your bravery, honesty and just for being you and holding space
Jan, thank you, thank you so much. ♥
Thank you. You have finally put into words what I have been feeling like for 15 – 18 years. I never knew I had this until two years ago, long story, but they found a lump on my thyroid and then I had half of it taken out. I am not on any medication for it, but go in every six months for a blood test. The doc always says that I am within ‘normal’ range, what ever the hell that is…. When I finally found out I had it and looked it up, I sobbed. For once there was a reason for all the crap that I had felt and thought for the last years. The sudden weight gain, ten or so years ago, I was so ashamed of, not knowing there was a medical reason for it. Husband just said I was lazy… yep, he’s a great guy.
I will be following you.
Thank you again.
Annie.
Oh, Annie, I am so sorry that this has been so hard. My heart’s aching for you.
When my endoc told me what was going on, it hurt, it hurt so bad, but I finally had an answer, you know? I had a name and with a name I could move forward – with treatment, with healing, with forgiveness. We have to start with ourselves, you know? Making sure we are good and ok and safe and then we can focus outward to those around us.
I hope you are having a peaceful day. ♥
I am new to connecting to you via Erin Goodman, but I just wanted to add another word of support and understanding. I have thyroid disease and Celiac disease, both autoimmune illnesses and my post on Erin’s First Steps was my first time sharing even the tip of what I have had to endure. Health is very private and for some reason, opens the door to criticism and spook factor to others, so one can live in a world of private pain, which also sucks. Anyway, I understand deeply and wanted to say thank you for sharing. It was very brave.
Nicola, I read your story on Erin’s site – so powerful and brave and real. Thank you for giving voice to it. And yes, I totally hear you on the spook factor, one of the reasons I never really talked about how I was feeling was because people would immediately step back from me, either a literal step back or an emotional one. Boo on that, I say.
Wishing you a beautiful day. ♥
/poem
Thank you for writing this piece, Jenn. I am a subscriber, but this is the first time I have posted. I could relate to this piece because I, too, have Hashimoto’s. And I’ve not known anyone else who has it until now. I discovered it several years ago – quite by chance. I felt a lump in my throat. I went to a physician and had a slew of tests. I was so frightened because no one knew what was wrong with me. Finally I went to an endocrinologist (who is THE best one in the world) who diagnosed me after several more tests. Everything made sense…the coldness, the tiredness, the unexplained mood swings that would send me into crying fits, the withdrawals, weight gain, the bulging eyes, lightheadedness (which I still get on occasion), hair thinning, dark circles under the eyes. I still have my little nodule – it actually shrunk a bit once I was put on the proper medication. I go to the doctor periodically as needed for blood tests to see if the medication is doing its job. I suppose it could be much worse. I am grateful to have discovered what the problem was and can treat it. I have had no one to speak with of my condition, as no one is really familiar with it and I have known of no one else who has it until now. I hope you do not mind that I have shared my story here – and I can’t believe that I have chosen to write of it in an open forum. You have emboldened me, too! Sincerely, Theresa
Theresa, I love that you shared your story here and that you were brave enough to share it in such a public place. Rock on, lady!
Thank you for sharing it. ♥
It means being loved and accepted just as you are.
Love and hugs,
Dana
Oh yes. Yes, it does. ♥
thank you thank you thank you.
oh goodness. today was so hard, and i couldn’t figure out what was going on. one minute i was fine, and then next i was tired and dizzy and sore and so sad. and then grumpy. I have chronic fatigue syndrome, along with so many other syndromes and things with impressively long names, and sometimes it’s just so hard to keep going. I just feel so tired of trying sometimes.
this made me feel like everything is okay, and i have permission to feel the way i do. thank you.
You are so welcome, Bethwyn. I hope that your days have gotten lighter, thinking of you. ♥
Oh such a beautiful sharing I am brought to tears here, these could be my words too. I saw a practitioner a few months back who detected I may too have Hashimoto’s, possibly that is the missing link with all the other diagnoses I have returned from, but am left with some parts in my being that sound not all dissimilar to your description.
I to am often aware of those words that others may choose to use for not understanding me and the way Ive created my lifestyle. I do this to honour what my body mind and spirit needs. I am so so much better (about 80-90%) than I was the last few years, but every now and again I get a few old symptoms and like you said its my body’s signal to do self care and have some peaceful solitude to come back again.
I hold my hand out to you, may we continue to walk bravely and fiercely through our challenges and may they be what brings us to much love and compassion for ourselves and others.
Such synchronicity seeing the lovely Tracey Selingo here too!
I am currently working on a fierce heart healing art piece (encouraged by the beautiful Tracey) & I dedicate it too you and all of us on this kind of journey.
Your words have made it safe & acceptable to be where I am too
Much much love to you
XXX
Thank you, love, this means so much to me. Wishing you peace. ♥
PS. Eeee! I love Tracey, she is such a beautiful soul.
Sometimes there just aren’t words…or at least ones that will make any difference.
So only these: you are amazing and beautiful and brave.
And this: you matter – beyond measure.
Oh, and this too: you’re not alone. xoxo
Ronna! Thank you, thank you. Your words made a difference when I first read them, they make a difference now. ♥
Thank you.
You’re welcome, Brit. ♥
It seems trite to say, “Until you shared this, I wasn’t able to do the same.” But I have to say, having struggled with what is *probably* chronic Lyme disease for many years, I can completely relate to your post. What’s more, I’m a naturopathic doctor. You know, the one who isn’t supposed to get sick, and if I do, I should be able to heal myself, right? So, thank you for sharing. It’s taken a little time for it to seep in, but I’m starting to feel a little bit better in not feeling perfect.
This is beautiful. Thank you for your honesty, openness, and sheer force of fierceness behind these words.
[...] … It means I’ve chosen to thrive. (via Roots of She) [...]
Sending you much love and hugs <3
Loving you. ♥
You’re an inspiration, truly. Thanks for sharing your world and your words. Means so much to so many!
Thank you, so much. ♥
This is simply beautiful…thank you for sharing this with all of us. You ARE fierce and I admire your courage. Big love to you, Jenn.
Lisa, thank you, your words mean so much to me. ♥
I have Hashimoto’s and I can relate to every word of what you have written. THANK YOU! It was so enlightening for me to know I was not alone. THANK YOU!
I needed to see this today. I also need to share this with many.
I am astounded and happy that you had the guts to talk to the world about this.
I’ll be continuing to read your posts.
BIG HUGS!
xoxoxo
Jenn, you are so freaking awesome. Thank you for being so honest. I really admire that you did. I live with my own illness, and I really can relate to when you said that it’s not a secret but at the same time, you don’t like to talk about it, people don’t get it..By the way, I took your self love warriors class, the first one, and it was amazing. I loved it. I still from time to time go back into my email to look at the emails you sent out to me. Buckets of love to you. Amy
Amy, thank you! This means so much to me and I’m smiling so big right now knowing that you go back to emails from the course. Thank you. Wishing you a pretty evening, xo.
Oh how this moved me so deeply. Thank you for sharing so openly and honestly. You invite us all to have the courage to move forward no matter what. You radiate beauty and love and I thank you for being you.
Thank you, Alia, your words warm my heart. ♥
Hey there Jenn–
I love your vulnerability. And I can say that I understand everything you said, becuase I too have Hashimoto’s disease. Similarly, I too strive to show up each day, serve others, build an authentic life and create a business that allows me to be good, bad, up, down, and side-ways–and still be successful.
The reality is that people need people who understand were they are in their challenges, both the limitations and super-powers of the human body, and who allow their problems to be the solution’s of others. Your self-care kit is an example of the latter.
This is a bad week for me. Energy crashes, flair ups, lethargy, BRAIN FOG; I asked myself, as I pushed on to complete my article and send off the intake form to a new client that I am excited to show up for, “I don’t know sometimes why you don’t just quit!”.
And in that moment, my Spirit soared–and I remembered. It is my Spirit that pushes me on, that helps me heal and then heal again, and that allows me the gift of serving and inspiring others.
You inspire me.
Leigh
Oh, Leigh. Thank you for sharing this, I hope that you’re feeling better, that things have steadied out. Wishing you a peaceful evening. ♥
I think of you, daily. And hold you in my prayers. Hope it will get a bit better soon!
Thank you, Suzanne, that means the world to me. ♥
Hi Jenn
I love that you have a self-care tool box. I have been working on that from mindfulness, yoga, nutrition, exercise, tapping, energy work. I think you need to try what ever comes our way to practice even though we feel healthy to maintain our health and to have something to grasp on to when we are feeling low. Even if it is just laying down and doing a body scan and breathing. I will check into your blog further. Thank you for sharing. I have been working on this since 2001 and have been finding it as I call it a Vital Self-management of mind body and soul. Namaste
My self-care toolbox is a huge, huge help with keeping things not just even, but bright and thriving. Wishing you a pretty evening, xo.
Jenn, I am thrilled to have stumbled across your Hashimoto’s disease passage! Your message helped me realize that I AM, indeed, sane and also, for better or worse, not alone. I am a 46 year old male who was diagnosed with Hashimoto’s just this week, after several years of living from one nightmare after another of newly emerging symptoms. I truly thought I was going legitimately insane and merely imagining my symptoms because doctors never believed me when I listed all of my many, many symptoms! These multiple symptoms were inconsistent from day to day and lead to my resignation from two jobs, regularly canceling plans with friends and family, crying two-five days a week, and failure to consistently communicate clearly with anyone! Throughout all of this pain, my amazing and patient wife, Karen, never once doubted my sanity! She encouraged me to seek out other doctors each time one dismissed me with the “it’s just depression and/or chronic fatigue and/or Epstein Barr and/or you eat too much and/or your job is just to stressful and/or you are just aging and/or it will pass and/or etc…” lecture. With Karen’s positve support, either she (on days I could not cope) or I called several doctors until finally one believed in me. Now, I am thankfully getting the medical attention I DESERVE and honestly feel a little bit stronger each day. I am well aware there is still a long road ahead of me until I rediscover the “real me” whom I have long since forgotten. Until then, I am enthusiastically facing each and every day with new found hope and with baby steps (in fear of stumbling yet again). Thanks again, Jenn, for your heartfelt passage because it made me realize that I, like so many others before me, CAN AND WILL MAKE IT! You are a much needed inspiration!
~ Greg K
[...] with Hashimoto’s (an autoimmune disease that is related to thyroid functioning—see these bloggers for more insight on this disorder). It took time to find the right endocrinologist and get my body [...]