Guest post by Asselle Seitmagzimova
I took a deep breath and exhaled with a sigh. Ok here we go, I am going to do it. After all I am not my fears. So I am going to take this plunge and write this letter reaching out to thousands of women, being seen at my most vulnerable, leaving myself open for judgment once more. I have been taking a lot of plunges lately, and the more I do it the more I realise I am not my fear, that fear is just an energy, and energy can be transformed in a heartbeat.
Over the past few years I’ve been on a journey of confronting fears, healing pains and getting to the bottom of who I really am. I grew up in Kazakhstan in a family of incredibly intelligent scientists, where A- wasn’t good enough and there was no room for creativity, self-expression and opinions. I lived my life the way I was taught to live, always fulfilling my family’s expectations, never asking what my soul wanted. By doing this I slowly sunk into a long depression that really started when I was 13. It was never obvious, it was like a fog that crept in very slowly, without me even noticing.
I realised that my soul became an abandoned house. I didn’t connect with it and inhabit it anymore. And just like it often happens with abandoned houses, ghosts started creeping into it and making their residence there. Those ghosts were fears, self-doubt, self-hate and many others. Needless to say it was scary to go in and take stock of what was going on. But I equipped myself with a flashlight of hope, faith and love to shine a light on all that crept in over the years. In that light the ghosts couldn’t live there anymore, so one by one they started going.
I started blogging as a way of expressing my joy, pain and my lessons. I always knew I had a lot that I wanted to express, but my deeply ingrained perfectionism never allowed me to dare to share it with the world. But there came a point when it was all just too much to keep bottled up and a little voice kept telling me to write. So I started writing. When I did, it felt so healing, spiritual, therapeutic, enlightening.. so me. When I shared what I wrote with my friends, and later strangers, I was amazed at how much people resonated with what I had to say. They were having some deep shifts of their own after reading about my life lessons.
I believe life is about growing together, healing our pains, letting go of what is no longer serving us and being true to our soul’s desires. I believe we are all here to support each other. My hope is to connect with you on a deep level. By being open and vulnerable and sharing some things about myself that are raw and scary to share I am opening up the space for you to do the same and look deeply into your soul. I want to help you heal your soul pain and discover who you really are. I want to help you experience the joy of uncovering your true self and finally letting it out to play, one post at a time.
Please come over to my website and have a read. I love deep connections, and I would love to be deeply connected with you.
Lots of love,
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