This weekend has been beyond gorgeous and I have to admit I am a little sad to be sitting down to write my last post for Roots of She. It feels like my venture here is ending right as so many other wonderful things in my life are taking flight. The arrival of spring is always an invigorating time for me and that is especially apt this year, as I work to launch my own organic farm. It has been wonderful to share the first tiny steps of that journey here with you at Jenn’s site and to get feedback and encouragement from all over the globe.
I wasn’t sure what to say here with my last post, at least until Jason was making his usual rounds online this morning. Shirt.woot.com puts up a new tshirt every day and we love to check them out as they are usually good for a chuckle. Today’s (pictured below) seemed perfect for me as it was titled “I Will Not Blend” and featured a fox – one of my favorite animals. It reminded me of one of my first posts on Roots of She, titled Blend In, Or Shine Differently? Reading back over that post, I realized what I wanted to say here:
First, thank you to Jenn for asking me to write here. Second, thank you to Jenn for telling me I belonged here when my doubts started to creep in. Between the date that I committed to writing for Roots of She and the date of my first post, I started to get to know the other members of this season’s tribe. And I’ll be honest: I felt intimidated. I felt out of place. I felt like I didn’t blend. I e-mailed Jenn and told her I wasn’t sure if I was really a good fit for what she was looking for – these other women were older and further along in their careers, and their daily lives (and often livelihoods) were centered around their own art and their own businesses. I was a full-time teacher, part-time kickboxer who was nurturing a dream of a farm and wishing she actually had time to paint. Jenn assured me that she had asked me to write here for a reason and that she wanted five different voices here – it was quite intentional that we weren’t all coming from the same backgrounds. So thank you, Jenn, for encouraging me to stick with this.
Next, thank you to the readers here at Roots of She. Thank you for supporting Jenn’s project. Thank you for supporting the writers here and leaving comments and providing feedback. Thanks for clicking through and checking out the websites of the sponsors. Thanks for taking time out of your day to read our thoughts and hear about our lives, and making this website into a community rather than a static collection of pixels. Thank you for the new friends (and penpals!) I’ve made through this website. I look forward to making the transition from a contributor to a reader of Roots of She and cheering on the next season of writers.
Finally, I’d like to thank myself for sticking with this. Writing for a deadline is new to me and presented some challenges in self-discipline. Right before my first post was due, a friend committed suicide and I fell apart for a few days. Jenn was kind enough to extend my deadline, but I was kicking myself for falling behind from day one and felt like I was letting her down. I’ve tried to stop beating myself up about it but that wasn’t simple.
More than anything, I am glad that I decided not to blend in here. I’m glad that I decided that it was okay to stick out and not fit in. It was worth the risk to be open about myself rather than trying to fit my posts to what I thought readers expected to see. Thank you for being open to what I had to say.
“I Will Not Blend” by Tasha Chapman
Even as a new season of contributors steps into place here at Roots of She, I hope we will all still run into each other from time to time. I blog over at Inward, Upward and you can also follow the progress of Great Fox Farm. I wish you all a wonderful spring!