An infographic of love

Dec 15th, 2011
by Rachel W. Cole.
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In planning my final post as part of the Autumn 2011 tribe here at Roots of She simplicity seemed the only way to go:

Download:
An Infographic of Love – PDF
Right click then Save link as (for Windows)
or Control-click then Download linked file as (for Macs.)

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You are encouraged to copy and paste this infographic wherever you’d like. Let’s spread and expand the love.

Also, before I sign off I wanted to extend an invitation to you and all the women in the Roots of She community to come out to the Well-Fed Woman Retreatshops that I’ll be leading around the country in 2012.

I’m hitting the road (and skies) in the New Year. I’m hungry to be with you face to face (and heart to heart). I’m packing all my gifts and resources to give to you. The Retreatshops are a love letter from me to you. They are my way of joining you at the table of life to feast. Hope to see many of you there.

For more information and to grab your ticket, visit my website.

With deep love + awe,

Rachel

Yes, you may

Nov 17th, 2011
by Rachel W. Cole.
11 comments

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Permission slips imply risk.

Think back to when your school teacher pinned a form to be signed by your mom onto your backpack. The permission slip was requesting to put you in a situation with fewer known quantities than the safe haven of a classroom.

Permission slips imply a bit of risk. They imply the unknown. They imply going somewhere that might be a little scary.

And, as an adult, you don’t need anyone to grant you one anymore. You already have full permission. You are always always always in choice. You are born with a cache of permission slips. You already have permission. You already have it…you just need to use it. You just have to cash it in.

You have permission to start here.
You have permission to let go.
You have permission to be good.
You have permission to be bad.
You have permission to have cellulite, and still be sexy, healthy, and beautiful.
You have permission to be you.
You have permission to not know.
You have permission to change.
You have permission to be inappropriate.
You have permission to try.
You have permission to speak.
You have permission to talk back.
You have permission to write.
You have permission to create.
You have permission to see yourself differently.
You have permission to dance.
You have permission to be afraid.
You have permission to release what is no longer serving you.
You have permission to revisit the same issue over and over again.
You have permission to make new friends.
You have permission to receive.
You have permission to be of service simply by being and loving yourself.
You have permission to feast.
You have permission to rest.
You have permission to be quiet.
You have permission to rock out.
You have permission to triumph.
You have permission to ignore the naysaying voice in your head.
You have permission to rewrite the script.
You have permission to go.
You have permission to stay.
You have permission to make peace.
You have permission to take time away.
You have permission to reinvent everything.
You have permission to like girls or boys, or both.
You have permission to pray.
You have permission to think more of yourself.
You have permission to forgive.
You have permission to simply be.
You have permission to breathe.
You have permission to proudly enjoy low-brow pleasures.
You have permission to do less and to do more.
You have permission to wait.
You have permission to act.
You have permission to disagree.
You have permission to see beauty everywhere.
You have permission to have discerning taste.
You have permission to disappoint others.
You have permission to spend money and to save it.
You have permission to enjoy the ride.
You have permission to find the middle path.
You have permission to be alone…and like it.
You have permission to lean on others…hard.
You have permission to struggle and to have it be easy.
You have permission to hold both sides of a contradiction as equally true.
You have permission to wear whatever you want
You have permission to like something you previously disliked.
You have permission to call a truce.
You have permission to be unpredictable.
You have permission to be self-centered….centered in yourself.

What do you want permission for?

Cash in. You already have the permission you want.

If you were pregnant?

Oct 18th, 2011
by Rachel W. Cole.
12 comments

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What if you were pregnant right now?

This is one of the most powerful questions I’ve ever asked myself or my clients because it takes us straight to the heart of self-care, self-trust, and self-love.

Try it. Just for today or perhaps a whole week. From sunrise to sunset – act as if. Tend to yourself as if you were also tending to a growing life – because you are.

In pregnancy, we become infinitely more compassionate with ourselves. We meet our needs with an ‘of course sweetheart’ instead of a ‘no, you really shouldn’t’.

When we’re pregnant we give ourselves permission.
We are more present and allow our body to guide us to what is right.

Ask yourself, if you were pregnant right now, would you rest when you’re tired? Would you eat what and as much as your body is hungry for?

Would you start taking time each day to connect to your body or to be quiet? Would you take more walks? Would you mend or end any relationships?

If you were carrying a baby, what would you say ‘yes’ to and what would you more effortlessly meet with a ‘no’?

Would you continue to push yourself as hard as you do now? Would you continue to talk to yourself in the tone that you do now?

We don’t need to be pregnant to treat ourselves with such kindness and responsiveness. We don’t need a baby growing in our belly to love our belly. We don’t need to be pregnant to eat what we’re hungry for, to rest when we’re tired, or to trust the natural rhythm of things.

What if your needs and your wants were just as precious as a new being?

Because they are.

Presence, permission and pleasure: Meet Rachel Cole and rest inside this moment

Sep 27th, 2011
by Rachel W. Cole.
5 comments

For this first post, I’ve chosen to show you my “come from” — the place from which the handful of posts I get to share with you will arise. Follow me for a moment if you will…

At the core, I believe that each of us is a unique and purposeful wave in an ocean of The Divine or God or The One. Each of us made up of the same holy energy, yet expressed differently — like spiritual fingerprints.

My wave, the one that all my work and words come from, is an invitation –– an invitation to sense and feed your truest hungers.

And to do this, I invite you to be self-centered. Yes. Self-centered.

I’m inviting you to reclaim being self-centered as though it were the highest compliment — because it is. The state of self-as-centered can be a powerful north star to walk towards.

This invitation is first and foremost about presence.

I’m inviting you to your Self, to your soul, to listening, and to spaciousness.

I’m inviting us to notice, to pause, to be curious, to breathe this breath. At its core, my work is an invitation for me and for you to be here in this moment.

This invitation is next about permission.

I’m inviting you to claim that you are always in choice, and to allow your hungers to lead you. I’m inviting you to trust, and to put down the heavy boulders of self-loathing and not-enoughness.

I’m inviting you to admit that you’re hungry for it — for all of it.
I’m inviting you to cash in your permission slips.

And this invitation for being self-centered is lastly about pleasure. I’m inviting you to rest in a soft place, to pursue delight, to come to the table, and feast and savor and feel. I’m inviting you to treat pleasure itself as a food group.

In my work and my words, pleasure builds on permission. Permission builds on presence. Like bricks make a house, pleasure, permission, and presence have built the home where I have found self-centering and where it has lead me to being truly well-fed.

This invitation is my ‘come from’ and I’m honored to share what arises from it with each of you at the Roots of She table.

Finding Your Fertile Garden

A sunflower turns toward the day’s rays; what do you turn toward?
A cactus thrives in arid climates; where would you plant yourself?
What are the elements of your most fertile garden?

My own life has taught me that following the threads of what feels just right sets us up to access flow and magic. When we’re actively cultivating our most fertile garden, we’re primed to blossom.

When I think of my own fertile garden, here are a few things that come to mind:

Those few hours of the early morning when I’m my most radiant and quick-minded. (There’s a reason they say “the idea just dawned on me”)

That rice bowl that always makes me feel supercharged. (Yeah, this one.)

That daily practice that I’ve personalized so it works just right for me. (I call it “The Hour of Engagement”)

That workload that is not too hot or too cold. (Like Goldilocks’ porridge)

Those one or two girlfriends who instantly and always return to me to myself and on good days bring on gigglefits. (You know who you are).

That patch of earth that feels more like home than anywhere else. (They call it the sunny side of the Bay.)

That shade of yellow everyone says is my color and that makes magic happen. (I call it mustard-saffron-marigold)

That ratio of peanut butter to jelly that makes a sandwich just right. (2/3 raspberry jam, 1/3 crunchy peanut butter, please)

That blog that never fails to remind me that I’m not alone. (Is she writing to me?)

That signature endorphin rush I get on a pilgrimage to the flea market. (Grown up treasure hunting at its finest.)

That sweet spot of just enough time alone and just enough time with others. (Energy bank account balanced. Check.)

That unexplainable phenomenon whereby I sleep more soundly on white cotton sheets. (Go figure?)

That cafe where the creativity fairy meets me faithfully over tea and toast. (Dear Fairy, I’m so looking forward to our next meeting. xo, Rachel).

As women we’re often raised to consider what makes other’s comfortable and happy before we consider our own needs or preferences. It’s not uncommon for me to coach women who haven’t asked themselves what they want in 10 or 20 years or women who push their desires away with oppressive thoughts of what’s practical and what’s proper.

I’m not advocating that we insist life be perfect or ‘your way’ or ‘my way’ all the time. I can, in fact, enjoy a PB&J with a 50/50 ratio. ;)

Instead, if we look deeper, this is about listening to what makes our heart beat easy. This is about what makes us feel at home in our own skin. This is about looking for what brings light to our eyes. This is about honoring our attractions because they are sacred callings. This is about using this knowing to craft a life that supports our thriving.

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I invite you to take this metaphor and inquire (in thought, with friends, or in writing) into the elements of your most fertile garden. What is your ‘happy place’? If you were the sunflower, what’s your sun (or what do you turn towards)? What need of yours have you learned the hard way not to ignore or deny? What conditions make you come alive? What conditions make you feel like your soul is dying? What area of your life is the most fertile (home, relationships, career, etc)? What area of your life needs some tending or weeding? What tiny act or object can you add to your days that would be like watering a plant?