by Jeda Villa Bali
You know what drives me cuckoo bananas?
People who don’t follow through!
Specifically, the type of person who says yes but then doesn’t bother telling me that there’s been a change of heart.
People like myself…
Yes, people like myself.
I’ve learned that when I label someone as being a certain way, there are most likely one or two people who’ve given me the same label.
Which means I’ve been called negative, fake, and self-absorbed by someone, somewhere!
It’s taken me years of personal work to be ok with that. Here’s the thing.
Can I live a fulfilling life caring about how I’m labelled by others 24/7? Of course not! As the saying goes, what people think of me is none of my business.
We can’t possibly connect or resonate with everyone we meet.
The point here is that what drives us cuckoo bananas is usually part of ourselves asking to be listened to.
In other words, we rely too heavily on our “I could never be like that” assumptions instead of looking within.
The vocation that has chosen me aligns me with my calling: weaving mind, heart, and spirit together. It requires me to be completely honest about all parts of myself, including my “not so nice” parts. I call these parts shadows.
Many of us subconsciously reject our shadows. However, when we do this, we sometimes get annoyed when these parts are reflected back to us through others.
Accepting our shadows threatens our self-image and could potentially change the image others have of us.
But, this doesn’t have to be scary or negative.
When we accept our shadows in order to live authentically, the process actually becomes incredibly empowering!
It’s sort of like a painting
We are all made up of highlights and shadows. Having one or the other results in a 2-dimensional existence.
A realist or impressionist painting without highlights and shadows would lack authenticity and beauty.
I feel the same way about people!
When I get hot and bothered about someone, I try and take a breath. If I’m tired or frazzled, I take a lot of breaths and give myself space.
Instead of immediately rejecting or dismissing the shadow being reflected, I take some time to understand it. I listen to its message.
Then, I lovingly integrate it into my whole being.
What drives you cuckoo bananas? How can you listen to your shadows compassionately?