When I started this series, one of the questions I asked women was “If you could go back and share some wisdom about aging with the you of yesteryear, what would you tell your younger self?” The answers were inspiring, tender, loving, fierce and heartfelt. With permission, I’m sharing some snippets with you today. I hope they speak to the wonderings in your mind and heart. And as a beautiful close to this Elder Sister Series, I’m going to invite you to contribute your wisdom to the collection.

Advice to My Younger Self…

• I was so often so hard on myself in the past, and if I could have a do-over, I think that’s the one thing I’d do differently. Not be so harsh, not be so critical. I’d let my younger self know to not stuff down my creativity, not be afraid to take chances. -Tammy
• I’d tell myself to slow down and stop living in a hurry. That you’ll still get where you’re going and you won’t get so overwhelmed and exhausted by trying to cram it all in. I’d tell myself that the time you spend taking care of yourself is time well spent and not in the least selfish. -Amy
• You will learn to accept your body as it is and it will change. You will learn to trust your heart and to follow your own passions. Tell your mother you love her and you need her. -Michelle
• Two things: First — Tell the truth. Don’t hide how you really feel and what you really think. Second — Pay attention to people and forget the material things. Those connections between you and the people in your life are what it’s all about. -Maureen
• Do not question your intuition ever, especially when it comes to your body, health and dreams. Take care of yourself. Don’t push yourself so hard. Learn the beauty of being gentle with your heart, mind and body. -Suzie
• Choose wisely & think big picture. A little of this & a little of that add up to a lot! Choose the best for yourself & keep healthy habits. All those days of “not today, I’ll do it tomorrow” don’t work. Whatever it is, especially if it’s for health or vitality, do it now! -Aimee
• You will be wiser, stronger, and more fit to live your life in the way YOU want to! You will be less concerned about how others think of you and place more focus on your own happiness and well-being. -Jennifer
• I’d advise myself to hang fire and wait for the right partner and not marry out of fear of being left on the shelf. I’d tell her that turning 50 was the most liberating time of my life – old enough to know better, young enough not to care. -Jackie
• Stop wasting time on what you think other people think of you. You have an entire life to live and the only person who will be there for every second of it is you. Oh, and keep your eyes on your own paper. You have accomplished a lot, so don’t diminish your achievements by constantly comparing what you have gained to what others have. -Anon.
• First, it’s not as bad as people make it out to be. I am almost 47 years old, and it’s been quite a ride. I like myself so much more than I did 15 years ago — even 10! I’m developing a confidence and purposefulness that comes only with experience. -Cindy
• If I could go back (with the knowledge I have now), I would try to convince my younger self how full of worth I am and how beautiful I really am. -Ceanne.
• I would explain to my younger self that time really is of no importance; there’s innate wisdom already in her heart, whatever her age. I’d let her know there’s nothing she’s doing at this mid age of 40 that she couldn’t have done when she was 20. If only she would continue to let the creativity flow and surround herself – asking the questions of life not in her head, but in her heart, then her forward journey will take her to all the places she could ever dream of and beyond. -Julie

Share your wisdom. Write a Letter…

And I want to invite you to share your own wisdom in the form of a letter:

• Write a letter to the “you” of 10 years ago. What would you want her to know? What reassurances or challenges would you give her? What encouragement? Know that when you share this, you will also be talking to all those younger sisters out there who are yearning for wisdom and guidance from an elder sister.
• Imagine yourself 10 years or more in the future. Let your elder self write a letter to the “you” of today. Let the words pour out of you onto the page or through the keyboard. Trust that your elder self knows precisely what you need to know. Let her share her wisdom with you and, if you like, with all of us.

Feel free to write and share both or either. If you blog your letter, you can add a link to your post in the Mr. Linky.

Sharing The Elder Sister Project here at Roots of She has been an absolute joy. Thank you, Jenn, for creating the opportunity for this amazing discussion about women and aging. I have been inspired, moved and honoured by the discussion and I encourage everyone to continue the conversation. Talk to your friends, your daughters, your moms, your sisters. Blog your own experience. Share your wisdom and your questions. Write letters to editors, asking them to include more real stories about women and aging. Write those stories and submit them! Be an elder sister and a younger one too. Let’s be in this together.

At the beginning of this series, I asked women to share their thoughts, worries, insights and questions about aging. One thing became clear; we are all filled with “will I…?” questions.

• Will I be more myself?
• Will I be more confident?
• Will I find love?
• Will I stay current?
• Will my relationships thrive?
• Will I be alone?
• Will I be disappointed?
• Will my financial future be secure?
• Will I maintain my independence?
• Will I become invisible?
• Will I maintain my dignity?
• Where will I live?
• Will I feel less capable?
• Will I be wiser?
• Will my body betray me?
• Will I be happy?
• Will I be a mom? A good mom?
• Will I lose what makes me “me”?
• Will I find my purpose?
• Will I maintain my health?
• Will my mind stay strong?
• Will I make a meaningful contribution?

You probably have your own or maybe you recognize many of the above. In fact, before you read any further, take a moment to write a few down a few “Will I…?” questions that hold particular energy for you, two to three that you really relate to and would like to explore with me today.

See, these questions are great clues to what’s important to us. Our wellness matters. Our relationships matter. Our finances. Our fulfillment. Our sense of significance or contribution. These things matter. But here’s the thing. When we frame these things in “Will I..?” questions, it’s like leaving the answer up to someone else. “Will I…?” questions are rooted in the belief that we don’t know and that the answer lies out there.

Now, we can’t know the future and likely, however it plays out, it will involve things that are out of our control. But we can turn these questions around and become more active players. Here’s how.

Using the two or three questions you’ve chosen…

1. Acknowledge what is important.
2. Ask yourself what you can do to create or support that.
3. Take action on your answer.

For example, “Will I maintain my independence?” becomes “It’s important to me that I maintain my independence. What can I do to support that? I could start by setting up my own savings account and also by going to the gym. This will support both my financial and my physical independence.” Do you get the idea? Do you feel the difference?

Let’s take an active role in creating our futures. Let’s be a part of defining what getting older means to us. This simple reframe of our questions can help.

As I’ve been thinking about getting older, one of the stories I’ve been telling myself is that I’ve looked the same for a very long time and now I’m dealing with changing. Somehow, that helped explain why I’ve been feeling disoriented. But as I was settling in and getting comfortable with this story, I stopped for a moment and asked, “Is this true?”

I pulled out my photos, from baby to today and everywhere in between. I was able to see that throughout my life, I’ve been different sizes and had different styles. My hair’s been short, long and in between. It’s been permed, straight, brown, red and black. I’ve changed how I look many times, to suit my mood, my life and the moment.

Seeing just how much and how often both me and my life have shifted was a powerful reminder that not only am I equipped for change, I’m designed for it. We all are. It is human to evolve, to transform. It’s in our nature. And as we change, there will also be parts of ourselves that stay constant, that spirit that shines out whether we have a bob or an updo, jeans or tweeds, fresh-faced grins or laugh lines. As I look at these pictures of me, I recognize my smile, my sensitivity and also my enthusiasm for life. They belong to me. I see that I love events and dancing and performing and home. I’m so glad I took the time to really see myself, instead of simply believing the story I’d decided to tell.

We become our stories. We become “the smart one,” “the shy one,” “the serious one” or “the cute one.” We carry our adjectives like they’re badges, believing them as relevant as the day we earned them but rarely checking in to see if that’s so. How long ago were you labeled, “flighty,” “bossy,” “responsible,” “flirty,” “nice”? Who gave you that badge? Does it really fit? Did it ever? And what stories do you tell yourself about who you are? Do you stay up late, wear blue, eat sushi, read romance novels, collect seashells or listen to dance music because you love those things or because that’s what you’ve always done? Is that still you?

When I spoke with women for this project, I heard two interesting, related things. One is that part of the joy of getting older is becoming more and more ourselves. At the same time, we’re worried that we will become invisible and irrelevant, that we will stagnate and get stuck in a time warp and not continue to grow. This is what happens when we are unwilling to let go. Each growth period involves a process of shedding, where we start to abandon the stories, the styles, the ways that no longer serve or suit us. This is scary and vulnerable and disorienting, especially when we’re comfortable with who we are. We need to trust in this transformation, knowing we have gone through it so many times before and understanding we are simply becoming truer and truer to the shiny spirit within.

What will you shed? What remains? What new stories will you tell?

I’m sharing with you the pics that helped me see and understand my journey in a new way. I really encourage you to take time to look at yourself. Creating a slideshow like this is one way to do it.

I was an early reader. I can be an early adopter. But generally, I’m a late bloomer. I was born to dance but didn’t take class until I was 15. During my first go at University, I left when my family break-up overwhelmed my heart and my body. When I returned, I was older and out of synch with my classmates. I went on to grad school and two years into my doctorate, I knew I was on the wrong road. I left and started again. I was on another wrong road with my relationship, so I left and started again. I went on to work several years in several jobs, none of which were related to who I was or what I had to offer. So this late in the game, I immersed myself in discovering my path.

During this time, it was painfully easy to be bowled over by emotion when I saw someone who seemed to have it easier. They knew what they wanted, pursued it, landed a well-paying job in their field and were on their way. How did they do that!? They had beautiful homes and disposal incomes. I had a shared apartment and no direction. Even worse was witnessing the skill and achievement of someone who had been pursuing their passion since they were a kid, especially in the arts. How would I ever be successful? How would I ever compete? Was my life going to be a string of these meaningless day jobs? What was I going to do?

I started with what I knew, what had always been true about me. After intense exploration, endless discussions and reams of journaling, I was clear that I wanted to work for myself, I wanted to help people and that the arts and creativity would be involved. These were the seeds that over the past, say, 7 years have become Jamie Ridler Studios. Yes, it took that long. There has been so much to learn, so much to discover and so much to become! Now I finally feel like I’m sharing my best gifts with the world. I’m blooming!

On this late-bloomer’s journey the most painful thing has been the gut-wrenching anguish of “Is it too late?” During my research for this series, this is a question that many of you asked. It’s one that makes our lives about the outcome, when in fact they’re so much more. Instead of empowering us, this question cripples us, doubling us over with pain and doubt and stopping us in our tracks. Let it go. The uncomfortable truth is that whether we’re 24, 44 or 64, we can’t know how pursuing our passions will turn out. That’s the nature of this life adventure. The only way to find out what happens is to get on the road and go. Soon you’ll discover it’s being on the road that really matters.

Things take the time they take to grow, and that includes us. A tulip doesn’t take the same time as a peony which doesn’t take the same time as a lilac. Jamie doesn’t take the same time as Amy who doesn’t take the same time as Jenn. We are all beautiful. We are all different. We are all meant to bloom. And we all take our own sweet time.

Is it too late to be a dancer?
Never.
You can start dancing right now.

Is it too late to start a business?
Never.
You have something to offer the world right now.

This is your adventure. Give yourself the time you need to bloom.

In preparing for this shared wisdom series on women and aging, I received a lot of questions about how to approach the physical changes along the way. I thought the best way to explore these questions would be to chat with a healing professional and so I invited my personal naturopath and healer, Diane Chung to participate. There’s something special about Diane. As soon as you connect with her, something starts shifting for the better. I hope that’s exactly what you experience in meeting her today.

Diane Chung is a Naturopathic Doctor who has run a thriving private practice in Toronto since 2001. She is a graduate of the Canadian College of Naturopathic Medicine and Harvard’s Mind Body Medicine program. Along with using traditional naturopathic approaches to support the body’s self healing capacities, she uses advanced energy work and well honed clairvoyance to work to go deeper and unravel the patterns in your health, prevent recurrence and take your wellness to the next level.

Have a listen to what Diane has to say about aging, menopause, memory, vitality and more!

You can find out more about Diane at her website, her Facebook page or follow her on Twitter.