Winter change

Dec 14th, 2011
by Hannah Marcotti.
5 comments

i don’t want to blow you a kiss good-bye.

my hands are afraid to type the final words from my post in the autumn tribe.

sitting, watching leaves blow off the trees and feeling the chill in the air, knowing this is winter on its way. goosebumps.

change is scary. change is brilliant. change is now.

the moment we start to feel comfortable, warm inside of safety, change starts to blow.

tears. fears.

this is what change looks like to me.

when I allow them to flow, those tears, i am releasing, allowing and welcoming the divine universe to deliver her miracles through me.

she shows me my fears.

i hold them as they are washed.

as i expand into more love i ask a question. a question that frees my spirit to soar in the what is next of her body.

my question. this time. my question. tears releasing. my question. unfolding secrets. my question. i’m scared. my question. please. my question. breathe. my question.

if i am love will you show me how to be me?

because.

change scares me. i release the tears. the fears of my light, of what is next, sit in stillness with me.

if i am love will you show me how to be me?

i am love. change scares me. releasing fears. saying good-bye to what is now. moving into what is next. if i am love will you show me how to be me?

i am love. i open to what is next.

Dear Roots of She Tribe,

You who have welcomed me with your time and words and love. Thank you. I am honored to have spent these Autumn months in your sacred space, sharing and exploring.

Can you feel the change blowing all around? Are you ready to ask your question to the divine Universe? Let go of the expectations and ask without any idea of what will unfold.

This question as you move into the next season is your miracle waiting to show up. Let go. Ask. Love. Stand in your truth. This answer is your faith.

Know that you are enough and you are loved.

Thank you.

With gratitude,

How are you talking to you?

Dec 7th, 2011
by Hannah Marcotti.
4 comments

I am joy unfolding.

Love flows to and through me.

I am abundant in love and joy.

I accept the ease.

The joy I feel is like the twinkling lights on the tree.

I am love.

I am.

Sat Nam.

Oṃ Tāre Tuttāre Ture Svāhā

My passion and purpose flow through me.

Thank you Universe.

I am healthy, wealthy and loved.

Wanting for you is wanting for me.

Om.

I am a passionate and gorgeous woman.

I find abundance in simplicity.

Each day I am creating my life of joy.

Beauty surrounds me.

Joy unfolds through my gratitude and love.

Yes, to magic.

I used to be afraid of money, now it makes my spirit soar.

Namaste.

How are you talking to you? Will you share a mantra or affirmation below and add to our choices, creating new ways of listening and allowing the love and abundance to enter our worlds.

Because of you

Dec 2nd, 2011
by Hannah Marcotti.
12 comments

Standing in the leap forward.

Greater health, wealth, maybe love. Scary as shit when it arrives. You are in the unfamiliar. You haven’t been here before, but you have dreamt it. Enough to take action and find yourself here, in the truth of your light.

You are off balance, confused, afraid.

It is not because you are weak.

It is not because you are less than.

It is not because you are flawed.

We all do what you call sabotage. What I call retreating back to.

Back to the familiar. Back to the safety, even familiar sadness, emptiness. Back to patterns that keep you in your holding place.

The retreat is the fight you start with your partner. The retreat is missing your appointment or going back on your word. The retreat is letting your body get so worn down and sick that you can’t do. The retreat is back to the closet of empty carbs that keep the pounds stuck on you as a barrier. The retreat is withholding the food that feeds your beautiful body. The retreat is not asking for support and trying to do it all until you fall. Alone. Exhausted. The retreat is I can’t. The retreat is I can’t. The retreat is I can’t.

Retreat: (1) an act or process of withdrawing especially from what is difficult, dangerous, or disagreeable.

And so you withdraw. Take your name out of the contest. Never enter. Miss the interview. Don’t send the right paperwork. Stop eating your greens. Remember something that happened in the past that still screams out WHY. Let your body become dehydrated and weak. Spend too much money. Go back to the safety of before you took this chance. Before you gave him your heart. Before you were paid what you deserve. Before you fed your body like a goddess.

Retreat: (2) a place of privacy or safety

You are back now. In the before. And you are alone and your light is dimming. You are an investigator into understanding what brings you back to this familiar, swept away from your dream.. To go forward there must be something else. Something more.

Retreat: (3) a period of group withdrawal for prayer, meditation, study, or instruction under a director

This retreat that you call sabotage is your time to heal from your past stories. To forgive your pains. To allow your hurts. This retreat is where you find your coach, your soul-sister, that book that alters your next 75 years of living. This retreat is a guided-meditation, a voice that sings out that you are not alone.

This retreat is where you feel and express. You build your support system here. This retreat is your quiet, stillness and soft space.

You create the future environment for where you stand in your dream realized.

You are held in love here. You say to yourself, “I am sorry. I am love. I am ready.”

You make the appointment with butterflies in your belly. You pick up the phone with shaking hands. You chop the kale the night before. You let the truffle dissolve slowly in your mouth with softness and joy. You hold space for him to dream when he talks. You write those words that were locked inside, waiting to dance on the page.

You keep moving into its beauty because it is your dream, and dreams want to be surrounded by a circle of joy and light and space to come true.

I’ll show you mine

Nov 22nd, 2011
by Hannah Marcotti.
11 comments

Our process grows out of our belief in who we are.

I have never studied or trained to be a writer. That may be obvious from my grammar and the liberties I take when forming sentences and using punctuation. The courage to even call myself a writer comes only from a deep belief that we create who we are. Daily.

Mantras

I believe in affirmations, mantras, daily reminders that we can be whatever we choose. Each day I remind myself that my body is beautiful even if it doesn’t look like the one I wore on my 21 year old self. When I am feeling impatient I repeat the mantra, I am love. I affirm who I want to be. I reach from my body into my spirit and grab courage.

Courage to say, I am a writer. And then the action to become one. So I write. Inside of each article or post I write, there is a process that shaped it. When I gather the courage to start writing my book, I’ll create a process for that.

Who do you want to be? Affirm it.

Ritual

Rituals feed our spirit. Oh, how I fought this one. I still kick up a fuss, and then find myself back at the rituals that help me create.

Blocking out days and times to write specific pieces keeps me on a rhythm. I committed to writing one special letter a week to my newsletter list, so I blocked out 2 hours, 1 day a week to write only this letter. My kids go to a dear friend’s house and I sit on my couch, always the couch on this day, cup of tea in hand. The laptop perched on my legs as I open up a blank letter.

Carve out the time. Then show up.

Get Started

I stare at a blank screen. I check my email. I go to Facebook. I think about how I have nothing to write about. I feel at a loss for delivering the messages I feel are inside of me. I check my email.

I type a sentence. I type a few more. Sometimes it sucks. Sometimes I keep it. Most often I erase it as typing just those few words churns a little switch inside of me that opens up my ability to receive.

Get started by writing words. Any of them.

Be In Your Life

As I drive, articles write themselves. I have sat in an Ikea parking lot with a sleeping baby scribbling in my notebook as much as I could remember from the drive.

When I am out at a bookstore sipping a latte watching my kids run around the books I suddenly know what I must write, or plan or dream. I send texts to Patrick with just a few words, followed by, I’ll ask you for that later.

I scribble on receipts, napkins and the back of any paper I find. The latest was a piece of a cereal box with one word on it. That is the only word I needed to take me back to the thought I had that will grow into a page full of words. Maybe.

Carve pumpkins, chop vegetables, jump on the trampoline with your kids. Live fully and the inspiration comes. You’ll have time for it inside of your ritual.

Know Your Process

This is not going to work if you don’t discover who you are. I write with a computer, you may love a certain blue notebook.

Part of my process is that I wonder if I can do it. I believe in my power and purpose, but I wonder if creation is possible again. My husband always listens at this point. And then sends me back to getting started. Write words. Any of them.

I get scared. Part of my process. I use it. I listen to it. I go back to my ritual. Sometimes it just takes washing the dishes or making the bed. I am no longer surprised or frustrated by the fear. I breathe in my mantra.

I step into the abundance of creation while fearing words will never show up again for my fingers to type. Abundance of creation.

Own Your Voice

I write with a voice, all mine. When I write and it is without my voice, it is fear of living in my truth. Jealousy, comparisons, frustrations, in-actions – these are the enemies of your voice. Your voice comes the more you create. The less you compare. Love up others, don’t try to be them. It will crash and burn you.

Each action brings you closer to that switch that opens up your ability to receive.

So my process goes a little something like this: mantra affirming who I am, ritual and simplicity of making the time, getting started by typing one word and then another, driving and doing dishes in my life, understanding who I am which holds a little bit of fear and writing inside of my voice because I got started.

Wanna show me yours?

Joy (A love story)

Nov 16th, 2011
by Hannah Marcotti.
13 comments

Joy is what happens to us when we allow ourselves
to recognize how good things really are.
-
Marianne Williamson

.
In 2010 my world fell apart. The one solid thing in my life, my relationship with Patrick, came crashing down around me, like falling off a swing and getting the breath knocked out of you. We had been side by side for 17 years (I was 18 when we met), how could it be that we might not be staying together for the next 71?

Did time creep in between us while we weren’t looking and force us to turn and walk in separate directions? How could my heart feel broken? How would we fix it? And should we?

As I stood in the unknown of that time, that year, 2010, it was like a foggy window that I’d been looking through was being washed clean by my tears. All that I had been practicing and learning as a coach, as a guide, was now in my hands to use. If I chose it.

I was surrounded by gifts. The power of standing in the now. Daily affirmations that we can change and grow and it is good. An ability to listen to Patrick and ask questions that brought him deeper into knowing himself. Love. My children and their beautiful faces as we asked them for time to be just us. Connection that is for the purpose of healing. Healing.

As we moved through that time together, Patrick and I, I held out my hands in a prayer and the Universe sent me one word. Joy. I accepted. I cried so much in those days of healing. I remember walking, fast, until I couldn’t remember where I was going or if I ever knew.

We went back and talked about the days when we lost our first pregnancy and were left with $15,000 in debt for the surgery I had to have. We talked about how we started to disconnect. We told stories to each other of what that time was like for us, not just losing a baby but also all of our money and sinking into debt after spending a year saving up money to move across the country. To have a baby.

Three babes later, we were sharing those feelings that we had saved up for over 11 years. We talked about my pregnancies and how sick I was. Unable to get out of bed and care for anything but the basic needs of myself and my children. How those months would pry us apart, physically and emotionally. And the babies with colic. And our debt. And.

And the Universe said again, joy. We continued to talk. We became new to each other after years of familiarity and routine.

Yes, we have made some choices that have hurt. We choose now how to accept those truths. And we cry. And we hold each other. And we touch like it is the first time. Because it is. It is our new life guided by joy.

She is our guide in this next chapter. We will see her when we know how good things really are. The faces of our babies. The stubble on his face against mine. The way he smells my hair.

Joy
Joy
Joy

Her arrival we choose. We don’t stop feeling sadness or shame or guilt because we choose her. We feel more, we feel deeper, we feel fully. She allows us to understand our place now and to meet ourselves there with softness. She says to us, “Yes, I will be with you through this moment and I will guide you to the next.” And you will know you can make it, no matter what that truth will look like.

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